oh ya. i suddenly remembered.
 
how come so many pple come to my blog ahz?!?!?!?!?! see my calorie counter.. i just put it up 3 days ago. n now... the numbers r scary. oh my.
 
hahaha...
 
 
ah well thats just a thot. lol.
 
more tmr.

you. i know u're reading this. cos u said u always read my blog.  n i think u know. if u know i'm talking about u... then. please do something. for starters, get out of my head. then after u do that, tell me u know.

thanks

oh yay dont u just love the pic of this hot babe (i have no idea who she is lol)  in my template?? she reminds me of marilyn monroe.. lol.. mebbe its the hair lah. but whatever the case, i love this template, cos raymond made it specially for me.

so this post is for raymond. X))))) 

today was a good day. service was super duper ab. fab. totally brilliant!!!!!!! but ya, since when is service not brilliant?? lol... pst. mike connel was preaching.. n of course when pst. mike is here, it means that there is gonna be deliverance service. n it was soo good ler!!! i mean.. had holy laughter... and i really laugh super duper long. pas n i were giggling like mad. the joy was just bubbling lor. hahaha..

well ok. gonna go eat my supper liao. my sister's been a gem. she cooked pasta. yum yum. X)))))

i love my new template. X)))))))

a mil thanx to the brilliant raymond for setting this up for me.

he is a genius. X))))))))

this is a purple post. because....
 
my ankle's turned purple. as in, the area above my ankle, below it, all around my ankle.. it's purple.

literally.

and i'm still hobbling around the place. i feel like an invalid. it takes me twice as long to go to wherever i wanna go.

but it's all good. =)
Praise God i haven't mutated into Barney
 
well for updates on my daddy, he's doing good, the op. was a success! He's still in the high dependency ward.. in quite alot of pain... but i'm glad he's alright. he could even smile with me.. so that's good. =) they'll be moving him to the normal ward later this afternoon, so i'll prob go over to see him later. my mommy's already in the hospital with him.

which reminds me, my mommy is one super fabulous person. she's been wonderwoman *cues music* this couple of days. and even though she's so tired, she can still run here n there handling everything. its like, she can make me breakfast, help me take care of my foot, wash the clothes, do the housework, rush to see my dad, rush to see her clients, drive home to take me to the hospital, drive us for lunch/dinner, and then back to the hospital late at night to check on my daddy before coming home.

she's wonderwoman, i tell u.

speaking of housework... i better go wash the clothes she told me to wash before i forget. ;p

Praise God my dad's surgeon didn't fall asleep during the op.!
Praise God for morphine!
Praise God i have the greatest mommy in the world!
Praise God!!

Praise God it aint my exam time.
 
oh btw, this post is for Brandon Lye for being such a sweetie pie.

today was... well lets just say i've seen better days. i twisted my ankle really badly during the bball match. super duper badly the doc. thought it was a fracture and i had to do x-rays and stuff. but it was fun. the x-rays part. the rest of it... not so fun. hurts alot. and i have come to the conclusion that pain makes u think funny. cos i didnt want to travel to the hospital by bus with my ankle like that,  so i booked a cab. and then i happily told the cab driver to go to CGH. it was only utnil he reached there and i had gotten off that i realized my dad was at SGH. so i had to take another cab to SGH and both taxi fares cost men $25 in total.

i am so broke.

so i just reached home from the hospital, my dad's gonna do his op. tmr afternoon. and i actually feel much better abt his op. liao. will prob go over tmr night to stay with him. damn my ankle for getting into this mess this week. now will make it so difficult for me to travel... aarrgghh.

 
well ok i just typed all this to let u guys i'm much better. n ya i know i dont sound better thru this post.. but trust me, i am feeling much much better. just the pain n the tiredness getting to me.

 
more updates soon.

cancer.

everyone knows its incurable. its so scary to the people who've had first hand experience with it, scary to those who have had loved ones suffer from it, and well.. not so scary to those who've just heard of it. but it still scares everyone.. the fear of dying.. the fear of losing a loved one.. its a horrible feeling.

and i've been scared before.. n the fear is coming back again.

 
my dad's got cancer again.

again.

as if once is not enough, he has to get it again. and apparently, this time, the doctors realize that the cancer he has is extremely aggressive, and also genetic. so he's going to an op. this coming wednesday to remove his whole large intestine.

it's been bugging me for a couple of weeks (ever since he told us the news) and after bubbles died.. i don't think i'll be able to take the trauma of losing someone else. not that my dad won't be ok, but there's always this fear - u know?

God, please don't put me through something i cannot bear.
 
i've had alot of people come n tell me its going to be ok. n the majority of my brain, and heart tells me that its going to be ok. that my daddy is gonna be fine.

he's going to be fine.

but... there's still that part of my brain that constantly worries. and i still can't find an off switch to that part of me. 

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "Courage gives you the ability to look fear in the face." i do consider myself to be rather courageous. when it comes to horrible situations, i do believe that i'm one of the last to crumble.. but how do i face this fear of mine in the face?? this fear of mine has no face.. it comes silently, swiftly. how do i face a problem that has no solution? and all i can do is pray and hope.

 
sarah ling, u are going to be fine. ur daddy is going to be fine.
 
please pray. please, please pray.

Stacie Orrico - I Could Be The One

I wonder what I've got to be
For You to wanna use me
I do not always have just the right words to say
But You tell me simple things
That I'd love the chance to bring
To a world of people who just simply need You

Doesn't matter where I'm from
Or where I've been
How far I've come
Doesn't matter where I live
Or what I have
You are my life
Doesn't matter who I know
Or what I've done
You Take it all
You want me as I am

I could be the one
Someone You're looking for
I don't have much to give
Lord, I'm ready
And through You
I could be the one
Whatever You want me to do
I will hold on to
What You say can be done
I could be the one

It is amazing to see
That You chose people like me
Who get off track, fall, crashin' down to the ground
But that's when You pick me up
And show Your strength is enough
You can use a broken heart to heal a broken life

Doesn't matter where I'm from
Where I've been
How far I've come
Doesn't matter where I live
Or what I have
You are my life
Doesn't matter who I know
Or what I've done
You Take it all
You want me as I am

I could be the one
Someone You're looking for
I don't have much to give
Lord, I'm ready
And through YouI could be the one
Whatever you want me to do
I will hold on to
What you say can be done
I could be the one

Someone You're looking for
I don't have much to give
Lord, I'm ready
And through YouI could be the one
Whatever you want me to do
I will hold on to
What you say can be done
I could be the one

Bright, Bright
Shooby-Doop, Shooby-Doop
Bright, Bright
Shooby-Doop, Shooby-Doop-Doop Bright

You take the crazy things
You take the weakest things
You use the foolish things
To show Your glory
Lord take my broken heart
Take all of my mistakes
You take all of me
I want to show how great You are

I could be the one
Someone You're looking for
I don't have much to give
Lord, I'm ready
And through You
I could be the one
Whatever you want me to do
I will hold on to
What you say can be done
I could be the one
If You say it can be done
I believe I could be the one

well the past few days have been extremely trying, but thank God for friends.

so this post is for all my chums who have been there for me the past few days. u guys mean more to me than u know.
 
quite alot has happened over the last couple of days.. n its been pretty good. =) its been such looonnggg days, both physically n mentally cos of all the stuff that's going on in school n church. so lemme type a bit to clear my extremely packed head.

so thursday after i typed my sad sad post, i had to attend my sis' cg (cos i couldn't go for my own cg). and it was just.. brilliant. no other words to describe. even tho it was a fairly simple message, and i was the youngest person there (i think w/o me my sis would be the youngest.. n she's already 22), it was really great. to be able to pour everything out n let the Holy Spirit fill me.. man the feeling was fab. not to mention the fact that Jo was sooo brilliant. (yea i know i know. i keep using the word brilliant. but there's just no other word to describe it) she's the coolest babe i know. n her love for God, her love for people, her great attitude, her sense of humour, her smile, her laugh, her leadership skills..... n there's abt a billion other things about her that are just brilliant.. one of the reasons why i admire n love her so much. when i become a cgl.. i'd want to lead a cg like she does. =) she's simply the best.

oh wow. just realized i typed a whole paragraph abt Jo. [in case there are ignoramuses out there, the Jo i'm tlaking abt is bro Poh's wife, he ZS]

so ya continuing my account of the past few days... friday was good. we had basketball interclass and volleyball interclass, plus Connection Weekend in church. so stats for the games==>

we won the basketball match against 3ep and got into the semis!!! woohoo!!! our next match is against 3it, and i'm getting more confident. its good good. =))

we lost our semi finals match against 3fg/rp for volleyball, but it was ok lah.. we didnt really expect to win. altho we lost to 3ep today for volleyball.. was quite disappointed.. cos we could have won.. but a well.. at elast now can concentrate on bball.

 
and after all the games i had to rush down to church.. n all was good......

 
ok i realize i'm turning into those people who just tlak about their days on their blogs. how terrifying. but have no mind to think right now.. am kinda distracted...

ok last piece of info.

i have gotten over the nostalgia!!!![i seriously think i was pms-ing last week. lol.] n today was bril cos it was my grandma's birthday!!!!!!!!

Praise God!!!! X))))))

bubbles died last night.

when i came back from fort canning last night, my sister found her dead in her cage.

 
i tried to write a eulogy for my baby.. but i couldnt.

 
it hurts too much.

i know i'll get over it.. but for now.. my heart aches when i think of her. when i walk into the kitchen and i dont see her cage....

it hurts alot.

and it scares me, cos.. she's my pet.. n yet i care so much... what more my....

 
forget it. i don't wanna think about it anymore.

yesterday was supposed to blog a whole load of stuff.. actually had inspiration last evening but when i reached home i was faced with this huge crisis.

my baby, my darling, the princess who never fails to cheer me up when i feel lousy, my most wonderfulest, special hammie, bubbles was lying in her cage with her eye really red an swollen.
so i rushed her off to the vet w/o even bathing first (which means it was really, really rush) and we (my sis and i) had this super long wait at the clinic. and when it was finally her turn, the vet examined her n said her right eye was about to pop out n it was getting really dry so she's have to push it back in for bubbles.. n the left eye was suffering from internal bleeding...... and it was advisory to do a surgery to stitch up her right eye.. even though the surgery was only 10 minutes....

it was the longest 10 minutes of my life.

well long story short, the surgery was a success, we brought bubbles back home and we have to feed her with medicine, antibiotics... etc. she's really skinny now.. n u can see that she's in pain....

my heart hurts when i look at her.. cos she's my baby.... n to see her in pain....... i just feel terrible and so helpless.. can't do anything to help her... aarrgghhh

God please, please, please protect Bubbles...

i'm in a better mood liao... cos...
 
pst sun's pregnant!!!!!!
 
which, imo, is brilliant news!!!!!!!! hahahaha.. i'm so please about it lor. my bad mood, ennui, nostalgia, disatisfaction.. all dissipated. cos i am just so pleased. X)))))
 
Praise the Lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

not a good day.
 
hai. dont know how to put it into words...........
 
forget it. elaborate tmr

i'm feeling nostalgic. super nostalgic.
 
or maybe i'm PMSing. hahaha
 
anyway today was racial harmony day.. n we didnt win.. was quite sad..... fot abt 5 minutes. hahaha.. it turned out we lost to the 1st runner up by a point. which was so...... well.. losing by a little sucks more than losing by alot. but it was fun to see my whole class in colourful outfits.. [btw, the vietnamese costume is super hot. and today's weather did not help at all. i nearly melted.] in a strange kinda way.. it was as if the class was soo super united even tho we all looked totally different. so it was fun. besides, i love to dress up. X))
 
speaking of dressing up... i wish we will have prom next yr. altho it seems like a nonsensical idea considering how kia su our principal is... a girl can dream, can she? lol.
 
ok i really have nothing to say. all the things i want to say refuses to come out so they're lodged pretty firmly in my head. gah.
 
not to mention the fact that i m still thinking of my One Tree Hill season finale episode.......
 
and the fact that i m still feeling nostalgic......
 
 
i think i'll keep my thoughts to myself, thankuverymuch.
 
nitez ya'll
 
 
blast it: Frank Sinatra - Swing On a Star

admittedly, i am really bored.
 
don't know what to blog, cos my mind is so preoccupied by some stuff.
 
ok. i shall talk about racial harmony day later.
 
in the meantime, i'll watch previous episodes of One Tree Hill.
 
 
blast it: Aretha Franklin - Murder He Says

kazaa is driving me insane. [yes yes.. i download movies/tv series from kazaa. i'm a law offender. drop your jaws.... yadayadayada.]
 
my download for One Tree Hill season finale has been taking forever.  and the finale is supposed to be sooo exciting!!!!!
 
but i can't watch it... not yet anyway. cos i have to wait for the download to be complete. and the file is 400 000 kb. and the pple who share the file with me have such slow connections. and they always get cut off.
 
which is soooo irritating.. cos i am dying to find out what happens to Lucas Scott (a main character of the show, played by the absolutely good looking Chad Michael Murray. hehe).
 
and singapore only started airing the show 3 weeks ago. at this obscure timeslot of 4pm on saturdays. i mean... who on earth is at home on saturday evenings?? so if i wanted o watch the season fniale on channel 5, i would have to wait abt 3 months to finally watch it.
 
which is madness.
 
 
speaking of good tv shows, what is up with singapore?? in its effort to promote local programmes, they air them during all the good timeslots on channel 5. which leaves no space for nice shows like Gilmore Girls, Everwood, One Tree Hill.. etc. and all these brilliant shows are left with timeslots usually reserved for soaps.
 
how sad is that.
 
 
oh. i forgot.. TRL is on now.
 
and i've missed half of it!! oh nooo!!!
 
 
ok.
 
more later.

i forgot to add this in yesterday's post.
 
aaron and i made a pact.
 
on the july 17th 2004, 9.56 p.m [according to my phone], we made a pact at dhoby ghaut mrt station while i was waiting for my train back to cityhall.
 
the pact is ==> whoever does better in the O's will be able to boss the loser around for one whole week. the loser must comply to whatever the winner wants. so for eg., i want him to dance in the middle of a train w/o any music.... *evil laugh* but if we both get the same points for O's, its a tie and we'll both be safe. lol..
 
 
i better start studying... hehe...

today was good.

i finally watched spiderman 2. was not bad, even tho aaron and i were sittng in the front row n i have a serious neck ache now....

lol.

oh ya, havent talked about the v-ball interclass. it is seriously stressful. it was so dramatic.. the whole match was.. soo dramatic. there's no other way i can describe it.. by the end of the match there were so many pple crying.. even tho we won, i didnt even feel good about it. which was so... blah. the feeling was just.. blah. aarrgghh.. hard to describe how i felt lah. am nto really concentrating. m kinda distracted...

ah forget it. m in no condition to type. this is too frustrating.... nothing is going on as how it should...

laters

if he's mine he'll be mine.

oh my goodness.
 
blogger has revamped itself once again. this is soo.. strange. its just.. strange. ok. it'll take some time getting used to.
 
anyway today was a good yet tiring day.
dont want to elaborate much cos my hand's swollen. so my right hand is shaky.
 
which is irritating.
 
n i cant be bothered to type out so much when it hurts.
 
but just to let ya'll know - we won our volleyball match. yeaps.
 
 
n i m very tired. too tired to be suffering from ennui.
 
ennui.
 
i like that word.. so cute. [for those blur kings n queens out there, ennui is pronounces ad 'on-wee' and it means.... ah i wont tell u what it means. dont be lazy. check it up yourself]
 
ennui. ennui. ennui.
 
ok. i think i am going mad. type so much rubbish.
 
hahahahahaha
 
more tmr.

today's been a looonngg day.

the week's gonna be even longer.

i'm not complaining tho. lol. its been a good week, so far. altho i've been so extremely exhausted [today i must sleep by 11] its been good to be busy, esp. with sports. we had our first volleyball match today. and even though we lost, i still felt pretty good. well of course not good becos we lost, but i felt calm, n happy to have played with my classmates. it was bril. to be playing w/o the pressure.. X)) and it was a good feeling to show everyone we had good sportsmanship, unlike some people who have zero sportsmanship and are just darn rude n childish.... ah well, its them. not us. we were graceful sportswomen. hee..

so this post is for all the graceful gals who played splendidly today... hwee min, li xian, boonie, li xian, xiu ling, yen ling... and even hsiang ling for screaming her head off. i am extremely, extremely proud of you. you guys rock ma socks. X))))

its strange how i can ejoy such class activities. yet dislike the way people act over enthusiastically. how ironic. just like the racial harmony day that's coming up.. i think its sooo fun!! haha.. dressing up in schl, who wouldnt want to?? lol.. so i'm busy looking for someone who has a sari.. cos i think its a waste to buy something i aint gonna wear more than 5 times in my life. heh. but i'll take loads of photos on racial harmony day.. i'll love taking pics with my gals. X))


ok last night was too tired to blog abt service.. but man was it brilliant.. absolutely fabulous.. altho we hardly flipped to the bible - it was mainly stats n facts, the presence of God was really in the house. it was just bril. X))) am going to be so passionate abt winning the lost for Jesus. the passion is there.. man.. gonna plunder hell n populate heaven!! woootttsss~~!!!

if anyone wants my notes just tell me. i'll photocopy for u. =D

cheers.

ok. i've just reached home from bible seminar. it was so good.. so even tho my tired body is pulling itself to the bed, i just wanted to type this post to remind myself to talk about how brilliant seminar was and about alot of stuff....

yea so this is just a reminder post.


oh ya, just rmbered something.. dont u think the phrase 'lancelot the cutie pie' is so ironic. haha.. or not ironic.. its.. an oxymoron in a snese. ah nvm. i'll explain tmr. i need SLEEP.


g'night ya'll

oh ya. didnt give an update on lancelot the cutie pie.. but too lazy now. n my toe is really weird today. keep giving me leg cramps.. its like.. the stupid 2nd toe.. dunnoe whuts wrong with it.. but ya.. one toe affect my whole leg.. dots dots.

n i cant believe i talked abt my toes in my blog

lol


ah who cares. haahahahaha


laters

ugghh.. stupid blogger.com is driving me insane. i can't seem to publish anything.

dots dots dots.




ok. i am just plain bored. shall go n watch extreme makeover. hah.

laters

i'm a bearer of good news today.


i can see lancelot tmr. YAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


m mom's allowed me to go for church wide bible seminar, n i think i'll be able to go for over ngiht prayer meeting enxt week. double YYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!


and best of all...


i knew how to do my a maths questions. triple YYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! X))))))


hahaha.. i'm in such a good mood... too bad its not good enough to make me wanna go to schl tmr. bleahz. ah well.. all good things [like weekends] must come to an end... but nvm, at least i have a few things to look forward to this week. heeeee. X))))))))


g'night ya'll.

the drop dead gorgeous chad michael murray.. he is, THE CHAD. [ya i am quoting from the first charlie's angels. lol] and i am a super huge fan of his. lucky ducky hilary duff. blleeaarrgghhh.

okok. time for updates. all of todays updates are totally unrelated but they all happened today so i shall just wrtie them in one post.


well i finally sent lancelot [kitty's new name] to gy's house where she is going to take care of him.. so its bril cos it means i can visit him everyday!!! whhoooppeee!!! even now, i miss him and all the cute noises he makes.. with that teh face he has..... 100% adorable.


i think chad michael murray is the hottest guy under 25 who lives on planet earth. why on earth he had to go act with hilary duff is beyond me. but yes he is a total hottie n i think he is just gorgeous. will post a pic of him later.


i realize gabriel ong is growing up. his blog is testament to that. seeing him grow up makes me feel old. hah..


i hate a math. but i love benjamin. he is just a bril friend. so this post is for him. will elaborate more tmr. X)))


goodnight ya'll.

kitty's found a new home.

i'm quite sad to see him go. [yes it's a him.. jia qi checked..] hopefully i can visit sometime...

but oh well this post is to sherry for being a brilliant pal. thanx a million babe.

laters

so i have a ton of things i want to say, but don't really know how to pen them down. oh well lets start with the basics.

i realized i miss b-ball alot, alot. the feeling you get when the ball is in your hands, the feeling of successfully blocking your opponent's shot, that burst of satisfaction when u the ball sailing up in the air and swish, you just scored. playing basketball... the feeling's brilliant.

u must be wondering why i feel so nostalgic all of a sudden... we just started our interclass b-ball competition.. n man it was soo fun! played against 3 JT, n they were super rough [that being an understatement] it was so shocking, when i was thinking of playing a friendly match. yea it was 'friendly' indeed... nonetheless, it was a good game of running here n there.. so interesting. =)







ok.

i have officially run out of things to say, cos most of the things that are running in my head are private. so yea, i'll keep them to myself thankuverymuch.


laters

blah.

i have a zuo wen to write.

no inspiration.

think i'll go watch tv.

haha. laters

i think kittens are cute.

it might sound strange coming from me, someone who doesn't like cats.

but that was before i had a kitten....

not that i have one. [my mom would never even allow it] but i'm baby sitting a kitten. no, not baby sitting; cat sitting. or rather kitten-sitting.

anyway.

the kitten is only about a week an a half old n she's superrr cute!!! she has this really cute face, n sinc she's so young we have to feed her milk every two hours, n whenever we try to get her to drink more milk n she doesn't want to, she'll give this super pissed face with half her eyes closed n her face kinda scrunched... which makes her look super adorable... one small part of me wants to keep her.. but i figure i won't like her when she grows up, but then again, i might have some emo attachment to it by then. but still, i maintain my stand on not liking cats. they r yucky creatures who like to eat hammies [like my bubbles n vanilla]... so yeaps. i definitely don't like cats... but it would be kinda cool if i had a cat roaming my house n two hamsters n they all lived harmoniously.... i digress. am going to be quite sad when pearlyn n jia qi take her back home... ah well. i'll prob go visit her. hehe.. =D

well just now i was watching mtv VH1 n it was the show Behind The Music - Britney Spears. n that 'i-wish-i-could-be-in-her-shoes-n-perform-in-sellout-concerts' feeling came back. just that feeling of wanting to do something specatacular, doing something so much bigger than myself. to think she was only 16 when she sold her multi-platinum album. 16. one year older than me. n she sold over 2 million copies in 1 month. oh well, sum things not everyone gets to do... altho it would be cool to perform in front of so many people.... do a sell out gospel concert... how cool is that... to be able to stand in front of thousands and impact people.. to sing n to perform, n be in that zone where u just love every moment of being on stage... [i really do wish i get a chance to talk to pastor sun one day. i have a ton of questions to ask her. haha] but still i guess its a silly dream of mine, isnt it? to believ in something that far-fetched. to reach people when i am still young... arrgghh i feel time i running out. so many things i aspire to do... yet so little time...... ah well thats not important after all. haha..


God, i do what You want me to do

cancer.

i hate the stupid bloody word.

it spoils everything.