It took awhile, but we finally came full circle. After the big hooha of 2007, the dust had settled and there we were - sitting at Haagen Dazs, me with two of my most favourite people in the world. 

The day had been good. The eating and shopping and especially the talking together. We talked about rubbish really - no long discussions of God and science and boyfriends. Dissecting SATC episodes, and deciding which characters we most resemble. Complaining about high heels and comparing battle scars. Eating stranger's half finished cakes.

But beyond the mindless conversation lay our contentment over bonds that were reformed and bridges rebuilt. 

So what are you going to do about your anniversary? Siew asks.

Nothing really, I don't see the point in celebrating something like that. I don't even have any ideas.

What about belly dancing for him? Ler offers.

Siew agrees enthusiastically. 

I shoot them my wtf?! look. Go and die. 

But its an anniversary, you should at least do something! Ler protests.

After all its not many couples our age who get the the big one year right. Siew chips in.

Our conversation continued with them offering ideas on what I should do, and how we could celebrate.

The truth is, I genuinely find little cause for celebration. What's the point in celebrating something that might end? It's awfully pessimistic I know, and it's the commitment phobe in my rearing its ugly head. But there it is. The ugly unpleasant truth. More often than not, I go about my relationship without thinking about the future because frankly? It scares me.

But as we were sitting there, I realized that there were no two other people I would want to celebrate anniversaries with. God it sounds cheesy, even as I type it, but it's true. Celebrating the fact that we met, we clicked, we got over really bad fights... I guess it was my Charlotte moment, when she said that the SATC girls could be each other's soulmates. 

So much for being Carrie.