oh my goodness. TALENTIME FINALS ARE ON FRIDAY!!!!!!!!

i ahve no idea what to wear. gosh. decisions decisions decisions. i can't exactly look cute/sweet/darling in a mini while singing an angst filled song, can i?

i need to wear something suitable for my song. the whole rocker chic, cool calm, sassy confident.. bleahs.

maybe i'm the only one who actually bothers so much about what i wear. or maybe not. i think everyone else is in the same dilemma as i am.

but then again, it's after all TALENTIME. they're not there to judge how i look, but how i sound like. speaking of how i sound like...... i still believe the judges were deaf and blind to have let me into the finals. i was sooo nervous that day, how could they have let me in?? ok i'm praying the whole audience becomes momentarily deaf and blind when i perform. gah. aaaahhh!! i feel stressed. goshhh.. talentime's on FRIDAY!!!!

okok relax sarah ling. u can do it....

but i can't!!!!! i hv no idea y pple can tell me "aiyah why are u worrying? u're a natural.." bonkers. it's not natural. it comes from years of practising.. [ie. singing in the bathroom and everywhere else. hahaha] and its very very different singing to urself in the bathroom and singing to a bunch of angst filled teens who are ready to throw their shoes at me!!!!!!!! [ant there are so many of them... wah today the Qs for the tickets in the canteen was insanity!!! lets just say the pple in my schl were almost like chc-sters. that scary. it seems the whole world wants to watch this silly thing that i happen to be a part of.. WHY?? i digress..] ok lah mebbe they wont throw their shoes at me, but they'll definitely be angst filled.. menacing, on the prowl.. just waiting to boo me if i suck..! aaaahhhh.......

sarah ling, stop ur dramarama!

ok. dramarama stopped. but somehow all the butterflies are still flitting [who came up with the word flit? weird word. flir. why not flut? or flot? or flet? why flit? why not flite? flit flit flit. what nonsense hahaha] arnd in my stomach. just wonderful.

chinese hw calling out to me. more on the butterflies another time.

EASTER!!

one of my most fave holidays. X)

can't believe some pple think it's really about bunnies and eggs. phwt.

easter is about my savior dying for me. no wait - it's more than that. it's about my savior dying for my sins and conquering death by coming back to life on the third day. it is becos of JESUS and what he did, that i'm saved. n when this life i'm in ends, i'll spend ETERNITY in heaven.

eternity. it's long time, aye? compared to this short life we live.. what's a mere 100 years compared to the millions we are going to spend after death? was talking to nigel the other day about heaven and hell. what he believes qualifies sumone into heaven is their acts and by their hearts, ie. if the person is good, has he sinned less than lets say, a murderer.. etc. however i believe that if God is totally just, God cannot accept sin, be it big sin [for eg. murder] or little sin [for eg. lying]. so all will then be condemned. that's why God sent JESUS as the sacrifice. Jesus took my place on that Easter friday. he bared the shame, the suffering.. he endured the torture.. he hung on that cross willingly - just for you. and becos of what he did, i can safely say that God now considers me righteous. my sins have been washed by the blood of Jesus. easter is more than those silly bunnies and eggs, it's about the ultimate sacrifice. Jesus giving up his crown of glory in heaven in exchange for my sin and shame. for the filth of the world. and he did it willingly..

where are you, my dearest blodger, going to spend eternity? do u believe in heaven or hell? or do u believe that there's nothing left after this life?

i believe in Jesus. i believe He died for me. i believe that becos He died for me, i will go to heaven one day.

man God is awesome!!!!! have alot more to say, but have to go for dinner now haha. my pork knuckle at Wern's is callng me. yum yum yum. X))

it's all about Jesus
it's all about the way He changed our lives
it's all about Jesus
the power of His blood can't be denied

it's all about Jesus
it's all about the convenant He made
it's all about Jesus
victorious He rose up from the grave

we lift our hearts to Him
He is the reason that we sing

hallelujah... hallelujah...
hallelujah... we praise Your name

i like tobymac. oh man. such cool music!!! altho my friends think i have a music flu. it might be the case, but still. i like his music. super.. funk? yea. funk-aaayyyyy! X)

and i think i'm sinigng ironic for talentime. i think. weird song to sing right? i know. but i think its a nice osng to sing. different from what everyone else will sing.

ok. need to PRACTISE now. God please take away my nearly here sorethroat. Amen.

if i keep my eyes on Jesus, i can walk on water.

how do u suddenly not know how to talk to your best friend? why aren't u telling me what's bothering u? don't keep telling me 'it's nuthing' - cos that's bull. how can there be nothing, n u suddenly become like that?

i'm feeling lost. cos i miss my best friend. my best friend's been captured by an alien. that's the only logical explanation i have if u tell me that nothing's wrong. is it really that difficult to talk to me? i miss chatting on the phone with u...! want to tell u how excited i am about everything that is happening in church.. in school.. want to flick ur ear.. n ask u what song i should sing for talentime... want to tell u how pek chek i am about school and exams, how i need you to be there. how i want to be there for u, but i don't even know if i'm needed. wanna tell u that even if i'm not needed, i'll still be there.

i wish u'd talk to me.

people are so unreliable. that's why God's my ultimate source. He is the only constant in my life. tho i may be upset by the people around me.. tho i might have relationship problems with people.. i know that my source of security and love is not from people - but rather from the one who saved me. in Him i trust. to Him i will run. cos His love is everlasting, He always welcomes me with open arms.

ah, i gotta go pack my stuff for tmr. oh man! can't believe i'm back in schl, again. -.- ok.. shall blog more tmr..

aaahhh.....

so many choices make me confused...!!! this song that song.. so many songs!! what on earth should i sing for talentime finals?? maybe i should just sing GC's i just wanna live. n let pple throw their smelly shoes at me.

HELP!!!!!!

if u have any suggestions, pls pls pls tell me!!

EASTER IS COMING!!!!!!!!

i.m.o, one of the bestest times of the year. it's a good time to reflect on what Jesus did on the cross.... on 2nd thought, everyday is a good time to reflect. haha

the core of christianity is not about helping others, or helping yourself. the core of christinaity is reconciling with God thru Christ Jesus. after u are reconciled with God, your mental attitude and lifestyle will thus begin to change, as a result of ur reconciliation with God. ----------- this is something i learned from the Sy Rogers conference. cool huh! hahaha

okok.. more abt the conference n Easter tmr. am super tired. i need to fellowship with my bed.....

contentment is crucial to me feeling fulfillment in life. have u ever wondered what it'd be like to live someone else's life? to do things differently, experience different things? i have.

today i've realized that it's better to be content with what i have. i am a very blessed kid. X) have an awesome family, a wonderful grp of frens.. am surrounded by pple who love me.. n on top of that a savior who died for me. yea i can confidently say i'm very blessed. X) shall make a commitment today to be happy with what i have. it's better to praise God than complain and whine.

i'll stop being a whiner, start being a praiser!

renew my life Lord Jesus, i never want to be the same...

there's gotta be more to life...

am once again questioning my purpose, my existence. what am i here for? what are you here for? all you people out there who read my blog. do u have any satisfaction in life? do you know what you're doing?

had a fab lunch with sin ma on sunday [after svc] and we had such a great time talking abt life, church, God.. basically everything lah. he's one of the few people i know who know their purpose in life. i envy that. i hate wlaking around being clueless as to what i'm supposed to do. i desire truth. i desire knowledge. am i thinking too far ahead, that i'm missing what's happening now? there are so many things i question.. have so many things in my life i need to take a stand for.. but i don't know what's the right choice, or how to go about making my stand.

i want to be someone of Godly conviction. i want to be someone who makes a difference. i want to be someone God uses... i just don't know how. it's hard to forsake all for the cross. honestly, i find it very painful. to give up my wants for You.. God i need Your stength.

yesterday was a relatively good day. spent it at siloso beach just chilling. man it felt good to be carefree for one day. do what i want, when i want. relaxing on the sand, getting a nice tan. chatting with my classmates. had a chat with hwee min about relationships. was a pretty personal conversation, but we did talk about fwb [Friends With Benefits]. fwb is basically a relationship btwn 2 pple of the opposite sex. its a friendship with.. well.. 'benefits' as they're called. but it's a relationship w/o the commitment and the exclusivity. so two pple can be friends and they can hook up, but they aren't attached.

the lack of commitment, the whole free n easy thing seems so enticing. i am sumone who sumhow fears commitment in a relationship. dunnoe why, but i guess i don't want to feel vulnerable. so my flesh says a huge resounding YES to fwb. why not hav a relationship with sum1 that doesn't require commitment?

my spirit says NO tho. how can a relationship be without commitment? that relationship would be based on lust, not love. even if everyone around me thinks its ok, i will still say no. cos i am called to be set apart. i have to be different. lester sumrall once said, "Others may, but you can't. Others won't, but you must. Cos' you're called". i'm called. i'm called to something greater than myself or my desires. God help me overcome my flesh. i want to seek You first.

i wanna be a history maker in this land
i wanna be a speaker of truth to all mankind
i wanna stand
i wanna run into Your arms
into Your arms of love..

been a looooonnnggg three days.

but totally awesome. i mean. AWESOME. n btw, saying all the svces were AWESOME is like saying yao ming is tall. UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE CENTURY.

ok lets start with the first svc on friday. the qs were insane [ok lemme digress abit. can i just say that q-ing for a chc svc requires STAMINA and proper training. hours, n yes i do mean HOURS, in the sun with sooo many pple surronding u, there is no oxygen left. the qs started at 11 am, when svc was at 7! wads more, 5000++ pple couldnt get into the hall! bonkers right!! ya. thats how INSANE it is], ushers disorganized, i was feeling stressed n in a relatively bad mood for having to q so long. but God is good. despite me not going with a ready heart, with a hungry heart, but one that was mubling n grumbling, He still touched me. His presence like a wave.. it was so strong that the whole choir [1000 strong choir] was slain n they fell like dominoes. all of them. that was how awesome it was. i mean.. WOW. Jehova Rapha was healing the pple! the blind could see, deaf could hear, lame could walk! wheel chairs were taken away cos the pple didnt need them anymore. it was truly amazing. svc ended at 11+, and before it ended we prayed that God's power would come doubly strong on sat.

God answered our prayers!!

saturday's svc was.. ohman.. really truly indescribable. no english word would truly be able to describe what we as a church, n i as an individual, experienced in the 4 pm svc. for me, 12 march 2005 would be unforgetable. despite the fact that the 4 pm svc was such a last minute thing, the pple came hungry. the sense of expectancy and faith in the place was simply incredible. there were pple q-ing up for seats at 8 am! thankfully, xiu rong and i managed to get good seats. [in fact we later managed to get 2 more - 1 for her couz n 1 for aug] praise God! so svc started and pst benny didnt give altar call for the lost to receive salvation. n he didnt preach wad he orginally intended to preach. instead, he preached about the Presence of God. he was talking abt how we need to be seekers of God's presence, not His power. not to seek after life, but the life giver. [i think i'll scan my notes and post here..] n while pst benny was preaching, the presence of God was sooo strong in the whole stadium, i just kept crying n crying. n it was only during sermon! after preaching, we started worshipping God and WOAH. the presence of God wasnt just a wave, it was a TSUNAMI. n He came into our midst and i was such a goner by then. was crying my eyes out, standing in awe and wonder of my God. the feeling is indescribable. but the p.o.g [presence of God] was so tangible in the place. n in this svc, not just the choir was slain. literally thousands were slain at one go. n man that moment when u r in God's presence.. it was WOW. had alot of revelation during that time. but it's kinda personal... so it shall go into my personaly report to lin. pst benny said that the p.o.g in the stadium at that time was the strongest he's ever felt b4. which only goes to show how much hungry hearts and a praying pple can pull down His presence. i tell u ah.. it was explosive. awesome. incredible. i was in such awe of my maker. He came in such glory... WOW.

svc 3 was just as good, and jas, lee ling n i got holy laughter!! hahahaha. X) for some, svc 3 was the best, but for me.. svc 2 will always be memorable. svc 3 was more of tying up the loose strings [in a sense] of a package [a.k.a the healing impartation He had given us] and sending us off into the world as the meeting came to a close. i was literally "one with Jesus, one with my Lord..." n it was incredible! the joy and peace that filled my heart was heavenly. it didnt come from sumthing superficial, but it came from JESUS. i had a thankful my heart, and out of me came such joy. i was laughing so hard.. trying to stop. but not wanting it to end at the same time. aaaahhh.. soaking in God's presence is truly the best thing to be doing. better than any high that the world can give. its like.. u feel so... comfortable. like u're finally doing sumthing that ur spirit is familiar with - worshipping Jesus. sumthing i can willingly do for the rest of eternity. ah i tell u, heaven's gonna be a great place!!!!

ok today's svc was a pretty normal evangelistic svc, but during worship when we were singing "i could sing of Your love forever... oh i feel like dancing, it's foolishness i know.. but when the world has seen the light, they will dance with joy like i'm dancing now.." the p.o.g just came again! waaahhh.. felt so at home to be in SIS. i truly believe that we as a church need a bigger building. n after giving altar call for the lost and all the new converts were prayed for.. pst wanted to pray for the sick. WAH! happening!!! really showed how we dont need any powerful speaker to draw the p.o.g, we just need faith and persistency. the pple were healed everywhere.. n as we prayed, the p.og came again!!! waaahh.. totally awesome. awesome awesome awesome.

"how awesome is this place, the gate of heaven.. how awesome is this place.. here's where i found You.. i love Your house, it's where Your glory dwells..."

oh man i m floating liao. X) just tlaking abt it is getting me high. i'm high on Jesus Christ. praise God!! hahaha

ok. v. tired. spirit is excited, but body badly needs rest. i'll post my notes up and off to bed i go.

my God is the greatest physician ever! hallelujah!

ahhh.. sweet relief. the common tests are over!

common tests? what common tests? lol.

although seriously, i am sooo relieved to hv finally finished all those terrifying tests. a madz was horrible. insanely difficult, i think my medulla oblongata was going to explode and fly out my ears. *insert mental image here*

ew. gross. hahaha.

this weekend is gonna be bz bz bz! benny hinn is in town, n tmr the madness of q-ing up will begin. i don't know if it's passion or just insanity that makes chc-ers q. i tell u, we city harvesters are excellent q-ers. we are the type of q-ers that put those silly aunties who q'd for hello kitty toys and those f4 fans to shame. we are INSANE. notice how i out we? yes. cos i'm one of the many thousands who have lost their brains and are willing to q under the hot sun for good seats. ok maybe i should stop being so.. negative if u'd like to call it that. we're passionate people. X)

anyway. i have one full week of HOLSSSSS starting tmr!! X) planning to go to the beach, get a good n proper suntan. planning to go shopping for my ballet flats [the pink pair i've been eying... lol] and plenty of movie marathons. not to mention catching up with a ton of pple and hanging out with my chums. argh so many things to do, so little time! not to mention the fact i desperately need to catch up on my work. esp. maths and chem and chinese and well basically EVERYTHING. i need a study buddy.

onto other news, my auntie gave birth yesterday! i think. or was it the day b4? gosh. i'm such a doink. lol. but well i hardly see her cos she's in KL and so i dont have much details. i do know that her lil baby boy Elijah looks exactly like his older brother Samuel, who i.m.h.o is adorable. chubby and cute. small eyes, uber chubby cheeks. i can't wait to meet him! X)) will post pics when i get some.

ok. my Gilmore Girls ep. is calling for me. just HAVE to watch it. more tmr!

cheerios!

march 7th 2005 will always be remembered by me. forever n ever till i'm old and grey.

i got my iPod mini yesterday. *trying to act mature/dignified/demure*

I GOT MY IPOD MINI YESTERDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

=D =D =D =D =D X)))))

a million smileys would not suffice to adequately express my elation. lol.

my baby looks amazingly gorgeous. hot pink all over, with so much song space. it's insanity. hahaha. i spent 3 hrs fiddling with it yesterday instead of studying. n now i'm here talking about it instead of studying [hmmm do u notice a trend? ha..] but honestly, why would i wanna study emadz when i can gush over my iPod? lol. sarah is waxing lyrical. i shall even take pictures and post it all over my blog haha. X)) *grins like a cheshire cat*

yesterday was truly a good day. i found out i was in talentime finals... ooo lemme tell u why i was the last finalist to know i was a finalist. cos i didnt think i'd get in n my fren had already told me i didn't get in so i didn't bother to check the board outside the music room cos it's just so far and i'm just so lazy to walk there so i didnt go. [long sentence huh. lol] n i was pretty ok about not getting in liao, cos i didn't think i did too well. i thought i had weird flow n i was outta rhythm n i didn't think i hit the high notes and i was just sooo nervous b4 going into semi finals auditions that i think i sounded HORRIBLE. apparently [and thankfully], i was the only one who thought so. X) so b4 my SS paper yesterday, yuting came up to me n said "oh ya.. congrats!"
me: "for wad?"
ting: "u got into the finals wad."
me: "no lah! cannot be."
ting: "my friend said she saw ur name on the finalists list.."
me: "huh.. r u serious. cannot be lah! r u sure ur friend knows my name anots... ok i'm gonna go take a look at the board. anyway i wanna go see who got in."

oh wait b4 i continue with my story, i just wanna say that i had zero faith that i'll get in. none. nada. nyet. zilch. even tho i said i had, the truth was that i wasnt even that disappointed when i heard i didnt get in the first time. but God is really so good huh!! must have blocked the judges ears or sumthing. lol

so anyway we went all the way to the music room to take a look at the board. yu ting so in fornt of me and when she saw the list of finalists, she went
"there! ur name is there lor!"

and after that was a blur. i went to take a look for myself and LO AND BEHOLD, MY NAME WAS THERE.

sarah ling - crazy little thing called love.

i think i screamed so loud pple from a 5-mile radius could hear me. lol. so yea, that's how i discovered i was in talentime finals. hee. X))

anyway. my books are calling out to me. i have to do emadz tys n draw stupid circles. boo. oh well, at least i have music from my iPod blaring in my ears. X)

Praise God for everything!!!

I BRING GLAD TIDINGS!!!!!!!!!!

I'M IN THE FINALS FOR TALENTIME!!!!!!!!!

gosh. i think i'm the last person to know i'm in the finals. lol. but man. PRAISE THE LORD!!! he is so incredible awesome. even when i don't believe in myself, he believes in me! n he grants the desires of my heart.. X)

didn't believe i'd make it through to the finals cos my throat was bad. n i was expecting to not get in. but God made it possible, despite my pessimism and negativity. man he just rocks my socks.

ok have to get to my books. more later!

leanred a new word.

inveigle.

cute right? i think so. haha.

the common tests start next week... oh actually they started on friday. dava was evil. he told us the to study themes of twelfth night. but NOTHING on themes came out. -.- to think i memorized all my silly cucullus non facit monochum nonsense. bleah. my mugging for lit. was in vain. so went to cut my hair b4 service. felt so much better. n now my head feels lighter. yayness. X)

am planning to go to the airport to mug daily. i like it there. it's comfortable. mugging. i must get used to mugging. to get 8 pts. 8 pts. 8 pts. 8 pts. 8 pts.

8 pts.

vent post.

aarrrghhh. aaaaaarrrggghhhh. aaaaarrrggghhhhhh.

she pisses me off. truly. she pisses me of. i have to remind myself that I LOVE HER. yes. i do. i love her. even tho she's such a pain at time. even tho she's such an arrogant cow. oh man i just cant stand it. n she says i'm unwilling to compromise. HELLO. if u're looking for a stubborn selfish irritating nut, u should LOOK IN THE MIRROR. bleah. bleah bleah bleah bleah.

gah whatever.

my dog is insane! he keeps licking the floor with his long squishy tongue. n he licks really loud. i can hear him licking away under me. *lick. lick. lick*

lol.

ok. dats all i wanted to say. have to get back to studying now. just one small thing,

I'M GOING TO GET MY IPOD MINI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! n it's PINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol. i'm sooo excited. sooooo excited. n soooooo soooo excited is an understatement. hahahahaha. X))

anyway. i really gtg study. will post pics of my ab fab iPod when i get it. on sunday. ooooo i cannot wait. X))

cheerios!