i hope u see the new addition to my blog. it's a link to the ONE organization webbie.

please click on it. and support ONE.

one person can make a difference.

let that person be you.



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school has been busy busy. not used to sleeping early at all, so end up being super sleepy in lessons. not good not good. but at least i'm actually handing in my hw... most of it anyway. lol.

getting used to the routine of long days and no blogging, its good i'm not bored yet. =)


as for now, i'm addicted to online shopping. go to yahoo auctions to find tons tons tons of stuff.


damn i need acredit card. X((


oh wells. a nonsensical bottom half post. off to lala land now. tmr is chinese o lvl oral..!!!!


and thankfully i'm not worried. X) i'll blow their socks off. hee

school is starting tmr.


God, i wish we could repeat June again. or that i could have more holidays... and i wish for my mini cooper, my marc jacobs warddrobe, and a chance to meet brad pitt.


all my wishful thinking.


oh well, all good things must come to an end.


off to do my housekeeping for tmr.


sigh

i forgot one thing.

u are priviledged if u actually are reading this.

as u must hv realized, my blog now is password protected! yay!

thanks to my dearest mr raymond ling, i can make sure html noobs nv access my blog w/o my permission.

please dont go spreading my pw around.. if i realize alot of pple are entering my blog, i'll just change the pw. lol


i'm a selfish blogger, i know. but i just feel that sometimes this blog is personal and even tho i dont care wad pple say, i would much rather keep this more private. so haters cant byatch abt my blog.

cos my blog is my baby.


so happy reading.


feel priviledged, cos u're exploring the mind of the divine ms ling.

enjoy! X)

good day. X)

i wore my dahling mango top, and i know i looked good. X)) all i need are my BALLET FLATS! n i'll be a happy lil camper. yayness... hee


congrats to dearest Sharon Ruth for getting attached!! *pops streamers* gotta start planinng for her wedding..

'wad abt yilin?', you ask.

well. she's more or less settled, we gotta plan baby names for her kids. =D so its time to plan sharon's wedding...

i can hear the bells ringing liao. lol


yilin was telling me that i can write down a list of qualities i want in my future partner n pray for the list everyday.

from his hair, to his height, to how his teeth are.


i believe God likes specifics. i shall start a list soon. by the time i'm 25, i'm pretty sure i'll hv a long long list. lol. but its ok, i believe such things are possible. God is very interested in who i'm gonna get married to. well i hope he looks n sings like joseph pringle. and he has phil pringle coolness mixed with pst kong's 'say'... add in pst a.r bernard's genius...


that's like a perfect man. haha.. my perfect guy. lol.


i better start praying. v. v. hard. lol.


onto other news, arise and build is coming! am excited to finally be able to giveee!!

God is good. He never shortchanges. i'm excited to empty my pockets.. cos i know blessings are gonna pour into my life..!!


ok more nonsense another day. my eyes can barely stay open. i'm off to lala land people.


cheerios!

houston, we have a problem.



CATastrophe, more like. [excuse the awful pun] this momma cat actually gave birth to 3 kitties underneath the shoe rack outside my house.

its driving mickey insane.

he keep running to the door to bark at the cat but to no avail. cos the cat gave the cbb aura. lol.

the kittens are adorable, i must admit. all with their pretty blue eyes..

but still. they have to go. my mom says they irk her. she can't stand them.

poor kitties.



on other news,

I GOT MY MANGO TOP!!!!! my mommy decided [totally out of the blue] this morning that we shld go check the sale out.. n she offering to SPONSOR US! so me n my jiejie happily got ready to go town.. praise God for the mango sale hehe. it took me 15 minutes to find that gorgeous piece, and i finally did find it. it was hiding under a HUGE pile of clothes. it was like digging for needle in a haystack. plus all the other crazy women in the store trying to find their own good buys.. wah.. MADNESS.

i truly believe its by God's grace that i actually found it, in my size too! X)))) it looked gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous. i also found this superb mango dress, but it didn't come in my size. X((

oh well, i'll hunt other mangos to find my dress.. i believe i can do it. i'm an expert mango sale shopper. well seasoned n trained to dash into the store, sift thru piles of clothes... lol.


all i need are my ballet flats and i'll be a happy camper!! X))))

dear you,

why are you here reading sarah's blog? you should be exercising me. even though i know reading sarah's blog is oh-so entertaining and fabulous, you must stop. becos..

i need to get GROOVY.

and i'm being very serious. my juices are stagnating...

so stop sitting there, and go fill me.

i don't wanna be smooth like tao huay.

i gotta get the groove, baby!



love,
your brains.

bleah. bleah.

crazy nutcase.

don't u try to psychoanalyze me. ur motivational pep talks ain't working. so STOP.


and u. i don't see the point in making me wake up so early. it is SENSELESS.


the one thing i enjoy the most during my schl holidays is my SLEEP.


and u actually waltz in and try to take it away from me???


i'd rather be COMATOSE than wake up.


not only that. u want me to STOP BLOGGING n going online?! its like telling me to stop breathing. or using my fingers.

UNTIL DECEMBER?!

GAH.


sarah ling is in a foul mood. if u're thinking of pissing me off today, u better not try.

walking around town alone is very fun. [i bought daddy a superb top from Zara Men! he looked so suave in it. hehe]

being able to sit in borders for 3 hours is extremely therapeutic. [i finished Sophie Kinsella's The Undomestic Goddess plus flipped thru a ton of magazines.]

i feel like a normal teenager once again. X)


except that my butt hurts! cos i'm actually sitting at a corner of my room on the floor. my sister was complaining abt the light given off by the laptop.. and i wanted to stay in the room cos the aircon's here...

so now i'm on the floor. n i never knew the floor's so... hard. lol. i must get mommy to get me one of those mammoth beanies from IKEA for my room so i can plonk on it whenever i like... so my ass wont hurt. lol



now all i need are my ballet flats + mango top, and i'll be a happy lil camper.

hurhur. X))


cheerios!!

i am clara. i'm sarahs evil twin. sarah has disappeared becos of excessive studying. she has gone insane and crawled into some cave into her brain. so i have overtaken.


i am utterly bored.

beyond any boredom u've ever known.

my boredom can be equated to the feeling u get when u listen to mr lo [my dearest, dearest schl principal] talk for 4 hours nonstop.

yes i can hear the cchms students gasping. this is how serious my case of boredom is.

i am truly bored. ennui-ed.

ennui-ing.

gggooooooddddnnneeeeesssss. my brains are about to somehow ooze out of my ear if i don't do something exciting soon.


I WANT TO GO TO SENTOSAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

*pouts*

the weather is nice and hot, so i would be able to get a yummy tan if i were only in sentosa.

but i'm not. i'm stuck at home thanks to my mother.

thank you mommy. i truly appreciate it.


GGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

i'm off to take narcissistic shots of yours truly. thank God for a camera phone. hurhur

fair blodgers! i've decided to fill my blog with wonderful photos then bring back wonderful memories. am a noob to photoblogging, but i'm definitely gonna learn. X)

they say a picture's worth a thousand words.. and i can't agree more. so here are some recent photos i've taken with my beloved cg. enjoy!



EMERGE PHOTO! we [from left to right: kevin, eugene, jasmine, yilin, pascale, urs truly n lee ling!] were the last pple to take photo with the white colour board..! we rushed down just in time to take a photo with the nice Emerge board cos the security pple ahd already taken it down and this photo was taken with two nice security guys helping us hold the board. lol


my beloved darling cgl with her own darling, lol. he is my future.. cgl-in-law. isn't my boss a picture of extreme cuteness + sweetness? n they say that a leader will produce members like herself. i'm good quality production. X))


cg at cafe! genie beanie's 21st birthday celebration. it was supposed to be a 'surprise'. but he kinda anticipated it lah.. hahaha


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sentosa pictures!!!



we girls had nothing to do while waiting for train so we decided to act cute. quite successful aye. =)



cg guys! kevin, egan, n kelvin. we pple were like tourists on the MRT. kept taking photos lol.



my boss' attempt at being artistic by taking this while we were going down the escalator.


happily settled onto siloso beach ready to play the animal game! X)


pascale says "i'm a sleepy lion trying to scare you. ROARRR!"


yi lin's attempt at being a chicken.


kevin lost the animal game so he has to be buried alive..!! muahahahahahaha!!!


see my cg's unity at trying to kill kevin. hurhur.


lookie lookie here! kevin has boobs! *feigns horror* guess who made them?? heh heh. i should be a plastic surgeon next time...


egan says "kevin looks like he's having fun!! kill me too kill me too!"


another of my boss' attempts at being artistic. this one not bad lah. lol


me and darling li xian!! we look good dont we. =D


yes yes i'm a narcissist i can't get enough of myself. sue me. =p


cg babes!!!


pascale's trying to teach us her pos cheerleading dance. egan looks like he needs to pee. lol


we decided to play limbo rock and pearle can be queen..!!


yilin's not too bad either.


neither am i. =D


yay! sky has darken, day is done.. it was a day of fun in the sun on the sand in the sea. =D



ok more pics of other occasions another time. its getting late, i'm of to fellowship with my bed now. =D nights!

the time has come.


to put away all toys and start studying [not entirely like a nut yet, but close] for the looming O levels n PRELIMS.

its truly awful. i can honestly say home is one of my least favourite places to be now. everybody, and i seriously mean everybody, at home is talking to me about my O lvls and my study schedule.

"girl ar.. must study hard ok.. only a few months to your O levels.. and ur prelims are already coming.. u must od well for your prelims so u can get into VJ for the first three months.. it's very impt.. u want to do theatre studies and drama right??? u need to get a 1 for both ur math subs.. it's v. impt.. u must plan. u must study. u must plan. u must study. u must plan. u must study. be focused. don't be distracted. study. study study study study study study STUDY."

it almost feels like i'm no longer sarah ling - daughter, sister. instead, i'm sarah ling - 2005 o level candidate.

it makes me dread talking to my family members. i'd much rather talk to a cactus. i'm sure it'd be more encouraging. i hate not being able to talk to my mom w/o having my study schedule come up as a topic for discussion. it's like all she sees is this girl who is not studying hard enough for her Os. i hate the way she looks at me, with concern n disappointment in her eyes. it's not as if i've disappointed her already.

but i refuse to be some angstfilled teenager who hates the world, hates her family, hates life who goes arnd singing the worm song.

i'll just grit my teeth n bear with all the 'wonderful words of encouragement' for a few months. i have vision, i have focus, i have a target i want to hit. i must hit. not for anyone, but for myself. even tho the rebel within me wants to screw up my Os just to piss my parents off, i refuse to let that side of me take over.

i will do well.


it's off to hit the books. just 12 more weeks to prelims! and i want to get 8 pts. even tho i heard 8 pts isnt enough to get into VJ [how horrifying]. to safely ensure a place in VJ, i need to get 5 pts. thats MADNESS. ok. have to go offline now. by God's grace i'll make it. i have something other pple dont have.. i have a Superhero who's giving me His wisdom + grace + peace + understanding. X)

off to the books!!

my last post seems like sooo long ago, even tho it's only been 6 days.

i've had a looooonnnggg busybusybusy week. EMERGE conference has come and gone.. and i spent tuesday - thursday doing crazy things just to get into church audi. like hiding in weird closets to escape ushers.. sitting in toilets for hours.. chiong-ing like mad when u realize doors open... finding different ways and means to get good seats.. wah its madness.

i say with all honesty, chc youth are BONKERS. reaching church at 6 AM in the morning to queue for seats.. willingly subjecting themselves [or shld i say ourselves? haha] to countless hours in a carpark or a stuffy non-ventilated stairway, so that they can get into audi.


call us fanatics, i'd like to think we're passionate.


i did meet a few unreasonable people here n there.. but i guess asking for wonderful people with wonderful tempers during emerge is too much. i'd prob only see that in heaven. haha. it was stressful, but thankfully i've learnt to let go of everything [ie. my bad moods, tempers, frustration.. etc.etc.] once service starts.

but its been good [good being the understatement of the eon]. cried alot [thank goodness i didn't wear mascara hahaha.], sang alot, screamed alot [i've got a sorethroat now], jumped alot [enough to lose weight... i wish! lol], kneeled alot..

i basically got to know my King a bit more.

it was AMAZING to sense Him during every single service.

it was AMAZING how He would just come.. when pastor strummed the first note on his guitar on tues night, when pastor sidney asked us to kneel during praise on wed morning.. when he taught us the indonesian song and we sang it from within.. and every single time i'd just break down in tears.

it was AMAZING that we as one church got down on our knees every single session and worshipped our king.


learned tons of stuff during this emerge, but one thing that became ever clearer to me is that God is no respector of persons. as we worshipped Him as one, it didn't matter whether we were chinese, african, indian, young, old, boy, girl, smart, rich, poor... all that mattered was that we were so crazily in love with Him.. all of us.

the best thing about EMERGE was that there was no time limit to the praise and worship. we would tarry in His presence.. linger awhile more.. enter the holy of holies. and it was during those times i got so much from my King. revelation after revelation.


i do believe that ordinary people can do EXTRAORDINARY things cos we have an unlimited KING.

all in all, EMERGE 2005 was truly amazing. i'm not just gonna be a hearer, i'm gonna be a doer of His word.


i am limited. but my KING sure aint. X))

i hate feeling like i've failed.

i fear disappointing them.

i hate the expectations they place on me

yet,

the last thing i wanna do is let them down.


sarah ling. stop moping. get off ur fat ass and DO SOMETHING about it. show them u are capable. show them that u're the best.

prove them wrong. prove them all wrong.



you out there - i'll show u what i'm made of.

i want to be a crazy spiteful bitch and rant n backstab n whine.

but i shan't.

sarah ling must grow up.

even when she's superbly duperbly upset and is unable to sleep becos her night has been spoiled [and she must becos she has to wake up super early tmr, at 6 AM in the morning], she must remain cool headed and rational. breathe in.. breathe out.. breathe in... breathe out..

even tho all she feels like doing is SCREAMING.

u know i've lost it when i start to refer to myself in third person.

gah.



i just don't understand why you don't take me for who i am. there's more to me than what that slip of paper says.

I AM MORE THAN THAT.

open your eyes. look at me for who i am. and love me for it. stop trying to change me. stop.


am a mix of emotions. the feeling's awful. i think of him. of them. of her. i hate feeling judged by them. by them and her. by all of them. why can't they stop comparing.

of him. missing him.
we should have taken photographs.



i doubt i'll be able to sleep soon. and to think i have to wake up tmr at 6.10

GAH.

MOMMY'S COMING HOME TODAY!

YAYNESSS!!

i can't wait. 1 week w/o my momma is just TOO long.

X)))


am currently blasting michael buble's It's Time cd. and i feel like dancing. [note to self: i MUST one day take up salsa lessons]

i want to dance with my daddy.

mebbe i'll be able to drag him to dance when he gets back home.

YAY!

must clarify my whole sex post. [it was just one paragraph?!]

this is going to get.. not graphic.. but explicit? not exactly. i'll just share my views honestly. but yea if u think that u'll be horrified by my language and frankness with the topic of sex and u'll start to think that sarah ling is an awful woman who doesn't love God and is some great sinner blahblahblah..


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STOP READING IMMEDIATELY. SCROLL DOWN NOW!!!!!!!!!!
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ok continuing the topic of sex. once again i'm gonna post a disclaimer here =>

i've never had sex. i don't believe in having sex before marriage. i'm not a sex craving maniac who's a huge perv. i'm only talking about having sex withing the boundaries of marriage.

some pple have been asking me about it, so i guess its best if i clarify all doubts and questions in all ur inquisitive minds.

how do i define good sex since i've never had sex before? well, i guess... oh wait.

another pre-warning:
THOSE WHO DIDN'T TAKE THE FIRST WARNING SERIOUSLY, STOP READING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCROLL DOWN NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!



well i guess, in my limited 16 yr old brain who's never had sex but has watched all SATC episodes religiously, that good sex is decided on the number of orgasms u have.

*i can imagine all ur faces of shock and horror to see the word 'orgasm' on my blog. if you are really that shocked, just scroll down and stop reading. it is just a word. orgasm. orgasm. orgasm.*

i mean, from watching SATC and all those episodes on Oprah where they talk about sex and what not, i've come to the conclusion that orgasms are the 'benchmark' [the word 'benchmark' is used here becos i can think of no other word] of good sex. especially for females. i mean why would females enjoy having sex [or in a more crude term, getting screwed] if it doesn't derive them any pleasure? an from what i've heard, thanks to all those Oprah episodes, orgasms feel pretty darn amazing. they help release [in large quantities] all those happy enzymes called ENDORPHINS that make u feel amazing.

ok just to digress abit, if u're a chocolate lover here, u are definitely gonna looovvee sex. becos eating chocolates help release endorphins, just in smaller quantities. ok in another digression, the Oprah episodes i watched also said that there are staggering number of women who have awful sex. meaning, they don't get orgasms. and those poor girls just have sex to help their husbands derive pleasure. cos apparently it is much easier for guys to get orgasms as compared to girls. which is why [ok i know i'm digressing further but nvm], girls are the victims or rape and not guys. becos we females don't exactly derive pleasure from getting screwed. guys, on the other hand, don't really care if the female is comfortable, and ready, as long as they get to have sex they're pretty happy.

oh another disclaimer => all u guys out there pls dont scream at me telling me u're not one of them. i know u're not some psychopathic serial killer-cum-rapist. but i'm just say men in general and women in general.

so back to the topic, i do believe i'll know whether i'm having good sex or not. even tho i've never had sex before. yeaps. i also do believe having sex it also a 'journey', u get better at it as time passes, u're more comfortable with ur wife/husband and with urself. so i believe it gets easier over the years.

and if, IF, my husband is awful at sex and he doesn't turn me on and i don't get orgasms and what not, i have NO intention of divorcing him just because the sex sucks. i'll just pray really really really hard. [yes i do believe its ok to talk to God about such things.]

i do know that there is more to a relationship than sex. however, i do believe a relationship must be well balanced, and u MUST be turned-on by ur future husband/wife.. if not there's something seriously wrong.

so yes that's my conclusion to the whole sex thing. if u're horrified and disgusted and whatever else by me after reading this. then too bad for u. if ur opinion of me dips becos of this, i deem u shallow. so ur opinion does not matter to me. i may sound harsh, but it's true. X)

oh. i just realized. if i cause an uproar by telling the world i'm a SATC [Sex and The City, mm darling ignoramus] fan. then. too bad. u deal with it. i think sarah jessica parker is simply 'fabulous darling, fabulous!' lol



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OK YOU CAN START READING AGAIN...
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so today i went to sentosa with my darling cgms. super happening! had fun in the sun playing limbo rock and a bunch of silly games. tried to teach them the animal game, but i guess the animal game is only fun when done in the old e179. ya. haha. li xian joined us, and it was superb to be able to spend time with her and just simply hang out. AWESOME. X)

it's really fun to just hang out at the beach and relax. to be able to pretend we're carefree youths who have no responsibilities.. being on the beach always makes me feel like the weight of the world is lifted.. and i do find it a really happening place to do QT. esp when the crowds have dissipated and i sense that comfortable feeling of solitude. me being totally alone with my Maker. its indescribable and totally fabulous.


anyway emerge is drawing ever closer, and my cg plans to do sumthing crazzaaayyy and funkaaayyy to our hair for emerge! no clues as to what we'll do, but i'm sure its gonna be fantabulous! =D can't wait for next week! X))))

ok this has been a looooonngg post. i'm off to lalaland now.

me bed calls for me. =D

cheerios!

i had the weirdest dream last night.

in my dream,
- you yi was in my cg.
- aaron was with samantha.
- yilin cancelled her wedding.
- kor decided not to come back to SG.
- mom extended her mission trip in thailand for 3 weeks.

and worst of all,
my dad wanted us [the family] to go on this weird trip to australia to check on my bro so i had to miss emerge conference. =S

thank God it was a dream.

it was honestly so weird...! all of them not much flow but they all happened.. and i still rmb feeling so pek chek about not being able to go for Emerge... it was honestly awful.

i wonder where such silly dreams come from. do dreams actually mean anything significant? do they represent something that's going to happen in life? or are they just silly 'movies' in our head when we sleep at night?

my dream was utter nonsense. so it can't possibly come true cos it'd be madness if it did. i wouldnt even know what i'd do if such things happened in real life...



anyway. have to leave the hs pretty soon. i need to go down to church office to pick up consent forms cos we [e29] are going to the beach on sat!! yay!! volleyball, sun tanning, canoeing etc.etc..

fun in the sun on the sand and in the sea..! X))

so exciting! hahaha. i might finally be able to fulfill my dream of tanning properly. yayness! =D

ok must go before its too late.


oh on another note, daddy's coming back later! YAY! i miss his cooking man. *drools* hope he's making some yummy dinner tonight.. can't wait... hahaha

cheerios!

be anyone you want to be,
bring to life your fantasies.
but in return..

i want you to burn,
burn for me baby
like a candle in my life..

laugh for me, cry for me
reach for me, lie for me
live for me, die for me

i want you to burn for me