was talking to nat online. i suddenly realize i miss her alot. miss her crazy laughter, miss all her nonsense. miss her awesome fashion sense and all her ideas.

she seems to be as tired as i am.



[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
i've been me

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
and these days things dont make much sense

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
but since when have a lot of things make a lot of sense

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
so how's urs?

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
haha why no sense?

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
i'm still same old same old

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
things have been going rather..

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
crazy in a sense

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
hmm??

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
like wat??

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
crazy dramarama shit lor

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
as in there's drama in school or life??

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
life lah

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
hahaha

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
haha

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
tell me more

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
alot of people going crazy

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
wanting to die

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
its long boring uninteresting

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
and i really dont wish to relive it

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
anyway enough abt me

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
how u?

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
y everything not making much sense?

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
coz as u can see pple who study for exams are sometimes too single-minded to bother with other things

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
yet they choose to come at the right time

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
and it only comes when pple are stressed

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
funny pple in school who decide to skip exams, break down, and proclaim the world their enemy *rolls eyes*

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
while others go into irrational relationships, indulge in casual sex, worse still a come what may attitude which means they chuck the condom behind their mind

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
and then when u think u should be abel to take a safe trip home

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
u have pple messaging u wioth their issues

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
oh issues of life never seems to end

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
but its interesting

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
nevertheless

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
hhaha

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
yea i really can relate

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
the number of people who seem to be going thru depression is astounding

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
ya~

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
liek for watever!!!?!?

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
its madness but what's worst is tt they try to get out but its very hard

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
yea

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
and they come running to u

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
and u have to go save peopoe

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
left right and centre

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
its like

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
sarah = guiding/counselling centre

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
talk to her, f.o.c

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
she'll listen to all ur probs

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
*fake smile*

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
bleah

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
haha

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
tt's sucky and they are so selfish

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
like your feelings dont matter

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
"oh coz she's always listening"

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
pls.... get a life gals and dudes

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
haha

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
yea

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
sumthing like that

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
so how u?

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
are u another counselling centre

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
i choose to laugh at them

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
then cry with them

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
hai... u aare right

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
yea

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
n sumtimes u're so tired bt u cant be tired... know what i mean?

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
cos u dont wanna become like one of them. so u keep it to urself

.bloodwashed1. *you know you love me* says:
and u just trudge thru everything

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
yes totally

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
and they never seem to see the light the tunnel

[N]at in Phat Farm: i noe that you noe that i noe that you're not a jerk, just a sex maniac says:
continuous spiral downwards


we continued chatting but this long exerpt was what struck me. it was comforting to realize i'm not the only one who feels the way i do. so tired yet unable to show it all. so sick of everything yet having to remain strong.

it's been another long day. i really dread the days. dread the nights.




sarah ling don't let those tears fall.

my week has been tiring. tiring. tiring.

have i mentioned tiring?

not an average week, cos so many things happened. and now i'm just sick and tired of everything. i don't understand why people would want to commit suicide.

it's stupid. and pointless. don't do it.

it is not cool to go into depression. so what if all the people around u in schl are claiming to be depressed? my god. they don't know the first thing about being depressed.

it's not fun. it's not cool.

it's not some stupid fad u follow, n then u cut urself and what not.

do u all think it's a game? well its not. ur life should be worth more than that.

stop following all these stupid fads that were created by stupid teenagers who have nothing better to do with their lives and nothing better to live for.

u haven't even gone thru life and u claim u're so depressed u want to die? get over urself. u're only a miserable teen who hasn't seen anything about life yet.

just beocs u got ur heart broken doesn't give u the right to infringe on and disturb other people's lives.


ong yan ting we are so sick of u. please leave us alone. stop haunting us with all ur STUPID smses.

my sympathy for u has run dry. u can go to mount e. or woodbridge for all i care. please stay there till u die. cos i really hope u do soon.

all ur lies and nonsense about a hole in ur heart, u migrating to god knows where, the worst was that u claimed u were PREGNANT.

HAH.

nobody believes u cos u're a stinking little liar. u don't deserve any sympathy. just becos u got ur heart broken doesn't mean u can wallow and throw urself pity parties everyday. u are bugging derek. u are getting into our lives. stop asking him to get back together with u cos he doesn't love u.

HE DOESN'T LOVE U. in fact, HE HATES YOU.

yes. he told me. he can't stand u. u are a pest. u irritating LEECH. crying and begging won't work. think ur lil stunt on monday helped? no it didn't. u only proved how pathetic and desperate u are.

don't try to play the sympathy card anymore cos u're not gonna get any. u manipulatig scheming rude ingrate.

next time u plan on commiting suicide, just do it and get it over with. don't call the whole world to save u if u're really that keen on dying. i mean seriously, just do it. the good person within me has had enough of this. i've done all i can to help u.

now i wash my hands off this matter. u can go and die for all i care.




to all those teachers on the 2nd floor staffroom in cchms,

screw u. u are not fit to be teachers. all ur claims about being good people. are bullshit. i despise u. all of u who gossip and bitch.

ur lives must be pathetic if all u talk about are ur students. ur lives must be really boring and empty and meaningless.

no boyfriends to go to and talk to right? it's no wonder considering how absolutely bitchy and childish u are.

u say that we shouldn't interfere with the crazy loon's life? hello get your facts straight.

she's the one coming to us. not vice cersa. we want nothing to do with her. the only reason we talk to her is becos we had compassion.

most of u on the 2nd floor havent even met her. or met me. u guys aren't even part of this drama. u're just interested becos u want juicy gossip. so don't u dare go saying that we are being nosy and we're tryuing to butt in.

we don't have so much time to waste like u.

and if u really wanna say things about me or give ur 'advice' as to how xiu ling and i should act or what we should do,

kindly do it to our face. don't go whispering it in the safety of ur teachers room, thinking that the two fo us will never find out.

cos guess what? we did. and i despise u. truly.

not that this is any surprise, considering what happened last may during lake oddysey. i should have seen it coming.

but no. i wanted to see the good in u people.

there's none.

u people talk to much. u guys have so many opinions? keep them to urselves.

don't judge me and assume things when u havent got the facts straight.

cos assuming makes and ASS out of U n ME.


i pity u all of u.



leave us alone.

long long week.

i am officially attached! to my darling miss lim xiu ling. she's my girlfriend/ lesbian lover/ wife/ husband/ whatever u wanna call her. lol. so all ya'll can stop thinking she's with derek cos she's mine.

all mine. X)))

we spent sat together at the new NL at bugis studying and walking around. the place looks brilliant, i tell u. simply awesome. a fab place to go n study. with all 14 floors of it!

it's the first time i saw a library sooo crowded. i guess people [just like us] wanted to check the place out. we even ate free ice cream. yummyyy. X)

went to rescue yan ting after that. i feel like a knight in shining armour. so passe i know. but true lah. i'm the knight/good little angel. bleahbleah.


was happy drinking vodka on sunday. i was a good girl only drank abit with darlng you yi cos he was in a bad mood and so was i. but other than that, awesome day. =)

yesterday was exciting. dearest ms ong tried to commit suicide again. twice. once during recess and also during lunch. bleahbleah. she's gonna be names dramarama queen of the century.

but whatever. lets think abt happy things.


went on a date with my girlfren today. 1st time in my life to eat in han's. the foods.. ok lah. damn cheap tho.


okokokok.. cant talk. need to study. au revoir!

apparently i didn't get 36 for my oral. ms chan told me the wrong thing.+ i'm stuck with 35. but thats ok. i'm still a happy camper. X)) i'm one step closer to getting my a1 for english during prelims!

career guidance seminar was ok.. pple from NYP, TP, TJ, and VJC came to our school to give talks. the poly talks were boring, so we just stoned while they ranted. the jc talks were very interesting.. TJ sent their HOD of bio to give the talk and she was really really funny. cute lah. made me interested in TJ. but i wont be taking science, so i wont see her. plus, i dont like the green uniform.. VJ's principal is SO NICE. she is the first funny principal i've ever seen. and she actually knows how to talk properly. she's amazing. compared to all the principals i've had.. she's like.. WOW.


I WANT TO GO VJ TSD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


the schl is nice. campus is nice. everything there looks so nice. the uniform is nice too. =D

but i know that the presentation given was just like.. propaganda? yea. propaganda. i've heard mixed reviews about the school.. TSD is supposed to rock the world, but apparently the people there play in school, n study like siao at home. vice versa for TJ. they study like siao in school, play when they get home.

i really really wanna get into TSD tho.

reallyreally.

TSD TSD TSD TSD TSD!!!!!


so i need 8 pts from prelims. 8 POINTS FOR PRELIMS.

i can do it. i know i can. X)


ok off to study at the newly opened national library with my darling xiu ling.. YAY!


au revoir!

sorry darlings. but just wanna say that i got 36 for oral instead of 35.

36! XD

am a happy camper, altho i'm totally gonna fail integration test today. did question 1, n decided to go to sleep. stupid integration. grrr.

thankfully there's chem test tmr. sumthing i know i'm good at. X)





i was reading the harry potter book in class yesterday when xiu lin snapped this. i love harry potter. X))))


off to be a good girl. au revoir darlings! =)

ms lim finally uploaded images. thank u miss lim. [wei see i'm nice to u even tho u are mean to me...]


don't blame me for the blur pic. blame joy. lol. from left to right: miss lim, moi, ms leng. =D



full body pic!



me n miss lim. XD


pretty girls! hsiang ling actually looks chio. lol. left to right: hsiang ling, boonz, moi.



i'm tall, i know. =D from left to right: yu ting, moi, boonz



li xian full body shot! man she couldnt sit properly in that silly thing. so chor lor she. lol



hsiang ling and i! she's in a pretty viet costume. nice nice. =D


yi ying and i - girls in saris. X)


yi ying


full body shot! hee. just turn ur head cos i'm lazy to rotate the photo. lol


study buddies looking indian


and u say i'm narcissistic?? look at the pro.


li xian and her small bro. kindly notice the height difference even tho li xian is wearing platforms. lol


li xian deluding herself into thinking she might have a chance in being taller than her bro. hahaha


xiu ling and derek. xiu acting cute, derek acting blur


xiu still actng cute, derek showing his true monkey colours. =D



nice nice. and i'd like to make it clear for the last time, I DONT LOOK LIKE AN INDIAN! grrrr.


but we all look good. yum yum. X)

au revoir!

I GOT 35 FOR ORAL!!!!!!

not that that's supposed to be shocking. =p lol. but am happy happy! plus,

I FINALLY FINISHED THE HARRY POTTER BOOK!!!! so pleased with myself. can't believe dumbledore dies and snape was the murderer. and snape's the half blood prince?!?!?! my goodness. can't stand him more n more. oh well, i'm glad i can finally give out of spoilers instead of dodge them. hee.



n that's all i wanna post. X))

au revoir!

fun fun day. X)) relatively good week, so here's a review.

wednesday => went back to schl, only to hear from classmates it was a good thing i didn't go to schl on tues. X) apparently it was an awful day that consisted with can stepping, essay writing, and a timed english practise. thank goodness it traded all that for a long lazy day sitting in an aircon room in NTU. after schl, i headed down to MOS with my official study buddy, my beloved miss lim xiu ling. we found a nice table just beside the table [thankfully it doesn't smell] and we sat down there for very long to study for our geog. test. miss lim adores taking photos when we study. too bad i'm lazy to post them, so just check out her blog lol. its in the column on ur right. X)

after that, we went present shopping for her fren andrew. and we bought him UNDIES. lol. was fun. but so malu-ating to have to go to the guy's section to ask the sales person to get us a box of white undies lah! -.-"" xiu ling owes me big big big prezzie. lol.

thursday=> back to MOS after school! lol. we established the cozy table as our 'di pan' and were quite happy to plonk there to study. haha. we later headed down to marine parade BK to meet up with andrew, who is such a metro he's a HIMBO. true blue himbo, i've never seen such a himbo in my life. [sorry xiu ling.] but ok lah he's nice. he doesn't look like a horse, but he's definitely very very photogenic, if u know what i mean. X)

friday=> chinese listening! nothing much to say except.. i listened? lol. wore my topshop skirt to church. was a good day. X)

sat=> cg at aaron's hs. release of harry potter book! [which btw i havent read so pple stop throwing me spoilers. its irritating la!] i truly hate 24. grr. parents were sweeties to pick me up from his place and we went to town to shop after that! oh wait. before orchard, we went to eat and i bumped into li xian. lol lol. so nonsense. plus, i went to little india to get puttus! so fun. =D

sun => STUDY AT MARINE PARADE BK!!! [no prizes for guessing who i went with] was fun. ate ice cream.. studied.. ima a good girl i tell u. X)))you yi, mr sweetie pie came to meet me and ya it was awesome to finally see him after so long lah. realize i miss him TONS. we sat and talked for quite some time, and i m really thankful for a fren like him. someone i can turn to when i feel like shit and i'm confused. someone i foresee being my fren for a loonnggg looooonnnggg time to come. X)




ok finally about today!! =D

in the light of racial harmony day, most of the enthu cchms-ters happily donned ethnic costumes to school. for some it was a chance to escape wearing that awful schl uni, for others it was in the spirit of the 'festivites', and for other they just wanted to have nice photos with their classmates in clothes they'd probably never wear again. i'm a mix of all three. hee! was great fun to dress up in a sari, altho i can safely say i'll never wear that sari ever again. NEVER. the top made me look like a madonna wannabe, trying to follow in her famous fashun stint [dont ask me o explain. + rolls and rolls of itchy scratchy material [just rolls of cloth that u twirl'drape around u. gosh the word drape makes me sound like a curtain lol] that makes it hard to walk + all that heavy cloth that's gotta be lugged around...

lets just say i like wearing light clothes. ie. lesser material. lol

but it was fun! took quite alot of pictures with beloved xiu ling [who claims i'm beocming more n more narcissistic, but i beg to differ. PLUS, even if i am, it's all becos of her influence. =p] , shall post them here later! X))

the only not so fun thing was everyone saying that i look like an indian!!!!! I DO NOT LOOK LIKE AN INDIAN!!! bleah bleah bleah. i dont understand how i look like an indian. and just beocs i'm wearing a sari doesn't make me look like an indian ok. wearing a sari only means i'm a chinese in an indian outfit. BIG DIFFERENCE, i tell u. but everyone [ie. li xian, xiu ling, yu ting, wilbur, derek, ++++] keeps insisting i look like a fair indian. bth.

-.-"

lol. they keep saying i have big eyes [see the wonders of mascara?] but i seriously dont think so. oh wells. it was a fun fun day. i was very thankful to get out of all the cloth tho. so happy to be in a SHORT skirt after one whole day of not seeing my legs. hahaha


so went to meet my fren, and we walked form schl all the way to the starbucks in EAST COAST ROAD. my goodness we're pro lah! walk for more than an hr. it was fun. next time i shall try to walk home from schl. but must be in good shoes first. lol.




so this is my post to make up of one week of not blogging. need to go cos i have ton sof work to do. i even promised to hand in my essay on wed. goodness i'm becoming good. =S

shout outs before i leave=>

xiu ling, studdy buddy => thank u! love u dearie. for being a sweetie to other pple when u dont have to. we will work hard together and get into VJ ok!!! love u love u. muaaahhss!

you yi, big bro => u mean tons to me. the fact that u take time out of ur schedule to talkt o me about church, life.. etc. means alot alot to me. love u loads cant wait to see u on wed. X)))


ok peeps, i've gotta go. tmr is my prelims english oral, but i'm feeling relatively confident. =D all the best to those who are taking theirs as well. X)))


au revoir!

more about teenager suicidal tendencies.


i didn't go to school today and decided to go to my sister's convo. not becos i was feeling so proud of her and i wanted to see her in her grad outfit, but cos i overslept for school. lol. it was a wonderful waste of time [not entirely] where i could enjoy aircon and do whatever i want. after the looonnggg convo of 3 hrs [hv i mentioned it was long?], we headed down to this super cool retro restaurant/cafe in some oolloo part of singapore. the place is so old, surrounded by army camps and the temasek club, w/o aircon and old tables + chairs. but the food was yumyum. we ate quite alot. was so happy to have skipped school. =D but ok i'm sure u dont want to hear anymore about my boring day. so lets get on with the topic of the day.

teenage suicidal tendencies. admittedly, i've thought of committing suicide before. it was a long time ago, i was angst filled and stupid. but thankfully i had friends who brought me back to sanity and from then i've realized that i'm worth more than what i'm giving myself credit for. i'm not gonna apologize for being big headed, but i'm sure the world will be missing out on quite alot if i die so young. haha.

i'm sure alot of people have contemplated suicide before, but thinking about it and acting on it are 2 very different things. i believe that everyone will come to a point in their lives where they question their existence and see the futility of life blahblah.. try to find out what everything in the world means, n in the process contemplate suicide. i don't think there's anything abnormal with that. as long as u don't act out on it, its fine.

however, the pple [actually person - the girl from my school] i'm tlaking about are not in the above category. disclaimer=> i'm not a psychiatrist and i've never studied psychology, so i'm just giving my 16 yr old opinion on the matter/issue. the girl who tried to attempt suicide - lets call her girl Y - was, i.m.o, just trying to gain attention. and even if she was serious about jumping, her situation could have very different if the pple around her paid more attention. i know a friend who was having suicidal tendencies [ie. wrist slashing, pill taking etc.etc.] but thankfully she stopped after persuasion from urs truly and the other pple around her that cared abt her. and now my friend has totally stopped having suicidal tendencies.

to the people who are suffering from depression/suicidal tendecies/severe isolation + loneliness, the next para. is for u.

i know how it feels. truly. i'm sure evryone has their own shit. life does suck, but that doesnt mean u should take your life, or torture urself by cutting urself. physical pain wont replace how u feel inside. it'll only make u feel worse. go talk to ur friends, go find someone u can confide in. if u can't trust teachers/parents.. at least go to someone u respect and is sensible. u can even come to me if u want. i might not be close to u, i might not know u well, but i will respect u, and try to be ur friend. please don't do anything stupid. whatever ur reason for feeling the way u do, be it an awful relationship, family, school, friends, ________ [fill in the blank urself], it's not as impt as how much u're worth. cos u're priceless. u're sooo impt. to the world, to ur family, to ur friends. and even tho u might think no one cares, i can tell u that's not true. pple do care about u. learn to get over ur situation and start again. you're young, and u hv so much ahead of u. don't cut it short now. =)


ok that's all i wanna say about the matter. more when i think deeper. now its time for me to hit the books! prelims coming prelims coming. =S must study study study!!


au revoir!

sarah is thinking of...

-online shopping online shopping online shopping!!! [why hasnt my mascara arrived yet?? bleah]

-a madz. [shocking? yes. a madz. i need to study more.]

-how i need to study more

-my new company!!! with ms lim n mr aw. it's called trios. we are gonna have accounts on ebay and yahoo auctions. so please check us out. =D

-being able to sing to an audience again

-zara jeans

-new shoes

-wang lee hom!!!! [he's too cute to be straight]

-and how i am so utterly bored. bleah. ok i'm gonna go watch some cartoons. X)))

ahhhh. i cant believe the days are flying by so fast.

where on earth does char find so much time to blog is beyond me. my days are flying so fast i've to hold on to my hat [ok fine that was a silly metaphor]. school is relatively ok,

but i dislike integration. truly truly. i cant believe i thot differenciation was bad. -.-"

anway i've been online shopping, its a good and i'm a happy camper. =) finally got my LiveStrong wristband!!!!!

and to clarify with u pple out there, i am not - i repeat, i am not - a poseur. i don't just buy things becos they're 'cool'. especially not when it concerns organizations that are makng a diff. in the world at large. i truly support LiveStrong, and ONE.

i support LiveStrong, cos even tho i've never had to face having cancer, i know what its like to have a family member go thru it. and it sucks big time. so pple arnd the world should support a foundation that helps cancer patients go thru dealing with their sickness.. etc.etc.

i support ONE, becos i believe that one person can make a difference. my fave part of the awesome ONE campaign advertisement was when tom hanks said "we're not asking for your money, we're asking for your voice."

like.. WAH. we can affect our world. we can bring abt change. and, i quote, "we can unite to make poverty history." how amazing is that. and far fetched as it may seem, i do believe its doable. so pls support both causes.. make a difference in society. =)



ok my brain juices are totally not flowing. i need some sleep. lala land here i come!


au revoir darlings. X))

u arrogant jackass

u self righteous, pompous, whiny, irritating, self-pitying JERK.

and u wonder why u never manage to keep a relationship.

continue deluding yourself into believing that it's not ur fault why all those girls left u.

i'm sure if u tell it to yourself long enough, u might just believe what you say.

please dont go spoiling yet another girl's life. she's too good to be wasted on u.

all ur claims about wanting to be a friend are BULLSHIT. u know why? cos all you care about is YOURSELF. stop being a bloody hypocrite and at least admit it.

so go on caring about yourself. all ur claims about loving God are nice and good, but i tell u, if u continue living ur life the way u've been living, u can love God the most in this entire world

and ur life will still be SCREWED.

dont u listen to pst preaching.

life changes when ur THINKING CHANGES.


dont even bother going to a.r bernards conference cos u will never learn and u will never change.

u'll be wasting a seat in the audi.


u wanna say that i am judgmental and that things are going to be different? u want to tell me that history doesnt count? u are only deceiving urself. history counts. having a good record or a bad record matters. u want people to stop judging u? dream on. unless u have a change in ur record, pple are gonna continue judging u. ever hear the phrase 'leopard doesnt change its spots'? u're a leopard.


i am no longer your friend. truly. u have finally crossed the line, and i am no longer your friend.

just remember this, u were the one who needed me. i have never relied on u as a friend.

its amusing to think about how a 28 yr old needs a 16 yr old. HAH.


i truly hope you have a nice life, but at the rate u're going.. all i see is a miserable old man living a lonely life cos i cant imagine a female stupid enough to spend her life with someone like you.


i am no longer your friend.

i got a new skirt!!! mommy was in a good mood, so we went shopping at mango and zara today.

mango sales are more crowded. zara sales are better.

and i conclude i like zara more.

zara has better fits. so i bought this nice nice zara skirt that was on discount! yay!!!

it looks amazing with my mango top.


yummy yummy. X))))


ok off to study. many thanks to dearest raymond for all my yummy solomon pills. lol. X)

it feels like ages since i've been able to blog properly.

and it sucks.

can't imagine living a life w/o blogging. how awful it must be.


the week has been. ok. all i can say is thank God monday is a holiday. i might just go insane from everything. met all my classmates, and it's really fun to see them and hang out with them.

seing all my chums and peeps.. it makes schl life so much fun. =D interesting happenings this week...

- hwee min stole a toilet from me!!!!! the toilet stealer is back in action. TOILET STEALER!!!!

- we took class photo! and it was fun fun fun. cos 1. we got to skip one whole hr of math!! 2. for the first time, i actually was standing with the people i wanted to stand with during class photo. cos u know how class photos are like, u never get to stand with the people u wanna stand with due to height differences.. but this yr was brilliant! i managed to squeeze to stand beside my girls.. xiu ling and company. 3. after the official class photo, ms chan whipped out her camera and then we started taking TONS of candid shots!!!!! we were prac like tourists. superb lah. i took a mil pics with xiu ling li xian boonz [bunny!] hwee min n joy. superb. oh, plus one with ms chan.

boon was almost going to cry when we were taking photos. made me realize we have so little time left together. and man i'm gonna miss them so so sooo much. can't imagine a class w/o xiu ling going abt whichever guy she thinks is 'soooo cuttteee!' [the current guy is kendrick lee. altho i personally think he looks like a horse. joy thinks he looks like a hotdog. lol] or li xian suddenly going mad or boonz erupting in manic laugh or hwee min going 'hey! that's rude!' or yu ting screaming in my ear when i poke her... it's been a good 18 months. to think we have less than 4 months to go. haha..

sorry i'm just being nostalgic. and no, don't get me wrong, i am very excited about going to a new schl, environment.. but i half wish we could all go to the same course, u know? i'm pretty sure no one's planning on going to Theatre Studies, so i'm set to be a newbie when i get there.

notice the word when. X)


ok off to eat dinner with my sister, need to go off now. more later.