I'm bored.

Taken from STS' blog.
Have you ever:
(-) smoked a cigarette
(-) crashed a friend's car
(-) stolen a car
(x) been in love
(-) been dumped
(-) shoplifted
(-) been fired
(-) been in a fist fight
(x) snuck out of your parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
(-) been arrested
(-) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
(x) skipped school - ALL THE TIME! :D
(x) seen someone die
(-) had a crush on one of your Internet friends
(x)been to Canada
(-) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
(x) purposely set a part of yourself on fire
(x) eaten sushi
(x) been skiing
(x) been at a concert --JASON MRAZ I LOVE YOU.
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x)made a snow angel
(x) had a tea party -- I was young and girly. Sue me.
(x) flown a kite -- It's harder than it looks
(x) built a sand castle -- It even had a moat
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up -- HELL YEA!
(-) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school -- Especially in Math class is Secondary school
(-) used a fake ID
(x) watched the sun set -- With the best company possible
(-) felt an earthquake
(x) slept beneath the stars
(x) been tickled -- ya. :/
(-) been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
(x) petted a reindeer/goat/kangaroo -- I'VE PETTED THEM ALL! =D
(x) won a contest
(x) run a red light/stop sign
(-) been suspended from school
(x) been in a car crash
(-) had braces
(x) felt like an outcast/third person
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
(x) danced in the moonlight -- it was romantic, and funny, all at once. lol.
(x) liked the way you looked - :D :D
(-) witnessed a crime
(x) questioned your heart -- hello? i'm scary damaged dark and twisty, so OF COURSE.
(x) been obsessed with post-it notes -- while studying for Os, I stuck them EVERYWHERE in my textbooks.
(x) squished barefoot through the mud -- it feels oddly satisfying. (:
(x) been lost
(x) been on the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean -- taste horrible. And i think of all the ANIMALS THAT PEE. :S
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
(-) recently colored with crayons
(x) sung karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins -- They were 10-cents coins for a BURGER KING MEAL.
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose -- good god i'm weird. :/
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue -- they taste funny, btw.
(x) danced in the rain -- and subsequently got sick.
(x) written a letter to Santa Claus -- I asked for a dog. rofl
(x) been kissed under the mistletoe -- hell yea!
(x) watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
(-) made a bonfire on the beach
(-) crashed a party
(x) gone rollerskating
(x) had a wish come true
(-) jumped off a bridge
(-) ate dog/cat food (does hamster food count? lol)
(-) told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) kissed a mirror
(x) sang in the shower
(x) had a dream that you married someone
(x) glued your hand to something -- my two fingers, actually.
(-) kissed a fish
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
(-) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 5 hours
(x) stayed up all night
(-) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
(-) had a tree house
(x) scared to watch a scary movie alone
(x) believe in ghosts
(-) have more than 30 pairs of shoes -- it's just a matter of time heh.
(x) worn a really ugly outfit to school
(-) gone streaking
(-) gone doorbell ditching
(-) played gay chicken
(x) pushed into a pool/hot tub with all your clothes on
(x) told you're hot by a complete stranger
(-) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused
(-) caught a fish then ate it
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
(x) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) french braided someone's hair
(x) gone skinny dipping in a pool/hot tub
(x) been threatened to be kicked out of your house or been kicked out of your house
(x) loved someone so much you would gladly die for them

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More about my fabulous day yesterday (I threw plates at a rocking restaurant, and had tons of fun at Settlers) later. As for now, I have to stop being in a chicken and just get that letter to him. Woe is me. I'm growing feathers and clucking.

When I get unhappy and moody and everything is grey and dreary, my soulmate cheers me up. By her nonsensical LiveJournal user name (it's "ieatsarah', by the way) and her big fat squishy hugs and simply by the fact that she can make me smile when I look at her.

Love you, sweets. (:

Drained. And goddamn tired. That's how I feel.

Maybe it's a sign - when holding on to friendships becomes tiring and difficult and even uncomfortable - to walk away.

It's tragic when the only way you know about a good friend is through a third person or their blogs.

So maybe I should start walking away. Because what's the point in holding on when the other person has already let go?

Life's been awesome. I've just been too busy to blog about it. A mix of coffee sessions and dinner outings have made me remember why I love the holidays so much. Throw in working (after 4 weeks of self proclaimed break) and meeting many fabulous people during my two shifts make waitressing such a pleasure. PLUS, all my favourite TV dramas resume in the next two weeks. *Squeals* Oh happy happy joy joy. Cannot wait for the new GA season. =D

I'm still plowing through Anna Karenina (hey don't look at me that way. It's damn thick) and listening to fabulous music that I must talk about. So here goes.


John Mayer's album Continuum is fabulous. Extremely bluesy and man his vocals just melt my heart.

Madeleine Peyroux is a not-so-new Jazz singer I've recently found about (thank you, Nigel) but hey. Better late than never I say. Her album, Half The Perfect World sounds so old school it makes me want to hear it on vinyl. She sounds like the great Billie Holiday, and she's only 32. (Some people get all the talent, don't they.)

Brother Bernard (it's so weird to hear people call him that :/) has a ton of mixed trax he compiled himself but me being slothlike and hard and grey have been too lazy to check out. Stoopid me. Was bored today so took it out to slowly digest the music. Found this TRES awesome cd with U2 live cover songs and Matchbox 20 doing a cover of Time After Time, plus John Mayer's Walk On Water. Disgustingly fabulous, I nearly had a heart attack listening cos it's so amazing. Albums like these remind me why I love music so much.

Corinne Bailey Rae's self titled album sounds a bit like Rachel Yamagata and Bethany Joy Lenz mixed. More... cheery, if there's such a way to describe music. Her vocals are... raspy, if you will. All happy happy tunes.

Joshua Radin's We Were Here make for equally easy listening. His vocals are light. I love Sundrenched World and his famous Fear You Won't Fall is so saccharinely sweet I think I'm this close to getting Diabetes becos of the overdose of all the happy music hahaha.

Serendipity OST. Yes I know I'm retardedly slow becos this has been out for donkey years BUT hey. I never realized there were such awesome tracks on the soundtrack. Bap Kennedy's Moonlight Kiss makes me want to go back to New York. Louis Armstrong's Cool Yule sets me firmly in a Christmas mood even though it's September. HAPPY MUSIC!

Thrice's Vheissu is also really good - God, how come I didn't know I had such good music just rotting away in my house? Totally different genre from the rest, it is nonetheless ekseelent. Love the vocals and guitar rifts. =D

Plus a whole truckload of singles I am too lazy to list out because I want to watch my RERUNS OF GREY'S ANATOMY. Enjoy the moosik darlings, I certainly have. (:

Hello Friend.

You could have died today. Of a car crash, a freak accident, or because some nutcase was trigger happy.

Would you have known that you are loved by me?


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My dearest duckie was this close to death (getting his head blown off, to be more specific) on Thursday. It totally scared the shit outta me for a while even though I knew he was safe. I mean... the idea that I could have lost a really good friend just. like. that. Before any farewells or I love yous are said, the person could just die. Poof. Be gone in an instant.

How frail our lives are.

I would like to think that all the people I love know that they are loved by me. But the truth is, I don't say my 'I love you's and 'I care's as much as I should. I believe it's never enough to say it once - people are forgetful after all.

So here's to you. If I haven't said it in awhile or you don't believe it's true, I'll just say it again. I love you.

I went running on Thursday night. God knows what possessed me that night to actually run around Bedok Resevoir at 9 p.m. at night, but it felt disgustingly awful. Heart pounding, legs aching, breathlessly disgustingly awful (I've become horribly unfit I know).

I might have had suicidal tendencies that night - after all, who would in their right frame of mind go running 'for fun'?

Me, apparently.

Thursday night will probably be the closest I ever come to expressing any suicidal desires - running without hydrating/stretching and half an hour after my dinner - in my life. (I'm still suffering the consequences of feeling mildly sore all over from the godawful run. I remember telling Ler even my fingers hurt when I came back from the run)

That's the thing - I've never wanted to die. No suicidal tendencies or desires for self-mutilation. In all my 16.5 years, I've always found reason(s) to live. Pushing all theological arguments (about how suicide won't get you to heaven) aside, I've always wanted to live. For myself, for my dreams, for what I see in my future.

Because I, unlike some woman in Pakistan who has seen her entire family die before her eyes and is maimed and unable to fend for herself, have life to live. I'm not hopeless and Murphey didn't do any double whammies on me. And so is almost any other youth living in Singapore at the moment.

So why is it that I know so many who can't wait to be dead, or enjoy inflicting pain on themselves? Maybe some people like the pain, because it's like hitting yourself on the head with a hammer repeatedly. So when you finally stop doing it, it feels so damn good. (If you're wondering why the line above sounds so familiar, it came from GA)

But i.m.o, thats just bullcrap. Seriously.

Everyone's gone to work and I'm home alone. The house is silent because I can't think when Justin's playing on my iTunes. His voice turns me on and I'm magically reduced to mush, just at the sound of his voice singing in his extremely hot (and heavy) new album, FutureSex/LoveSounds. God he's good.


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So Monday was the Inaugural outing with Le Raine and Siew. It wasn't extravagant or well planned. It was simple, really. At a coffee joint somewhere along Orchard Road, we talked about life, love, boys, men, sex, and everything in between.

And then I had a moment.

I could picture ourselves always being there. It's hard to explain, really... but it was as if in that split second I saw the three of us at the exact same place in 2016. The clothes had changed, we looked different, but we were there. The friendship richer, deeper (after 10 years it better be) and us girls still around. I would be moaning the loss of a really rocking pair of shoes (that would probably be from Manolo Blahniks instead of Topshop) and Siew would still be dreaming of her fat bald men. Ler would probably be talking about this new boy she met in one of her escapades and we would giggle and laugh, just like we did on Monday.

There are always moments in a friendship where you feel and you know that there's something special going on. I guess that was it for the three of us, specifically.

More than weather friends, or just classmates, I've found 2 people who are so shockingly similar to me it's like finding family. Like finally there is a group of people who share the same interests as me (ie. reading Tosltoy, Gaiman and our love for shoes) and we're slowly forming our very own, very comfortable clique. Or 'family unit', to be more precise.

I know the term 'family unit' sounds weird. But calling them 'sisters' would be over cliched, 'girlfriends' too bland, and 'friends' inapt to describe what I think we have.

For the first time, I have people (note: more than one) who are equally excited about being in Kinokuniya as they are in Topshop. We suck at photowhoring, really suck. And I love that we are such lousy bimbos (no matter how hard we try). They are not total nerd/geek heads and at the same time they are not airheads whose only concern is the latest fashion trend or the boy at the next table.

They're comfortable people. As closed and guarded as I am around others, I find myself slowly opening up to these two. Slowly and surely, I am letting them in, just like how they let me in. To their lives and thoughts and world.

And it's fabulous. It's fabulous having them in my life, it's fabulous knowing them. Simply fabulous.

Ahhh the joys of 2 months of no school and all play. I now have ample time to hone my skills of morphing into a stone. If all goes well, I should probably look more hard and grey by the time October comes. (: I can already envision how I'll spend my holidays. Rainy Mondays will be specially for plonking on a chair with a fabulous book (read: Anna Karenina), and Thursdays for sunny outings on the beach. Then of course there are those days that I just concentrate on being sluggish/ a couch potato.

Excellent. I can't think of a better way to celebrate the end of my first semester in Poly.