CHANTAL KREVIAZUK IS TOTALLY PLAYING IN MY HEAD RIGHT NOW

Hello my lovelies, I'm off to CAMBODIA/E in like, now. HAPPY EXCITED YO...

*Seet Ling wants to invade my blog. wth*

HHELLLLOOOOOO!!!! WE IS GOING TO CAMBODIA SOON!!!!!!! WE ARE CROWDED AROUND A COMPUTER (SLOWER THAN MY BRAIN), TYPING LIKE MADWOMEN (KEITH IS CONSIDERED A WOMAN)

OKOK TO ALL MY FRIENDS / FANS OUT THERE, I'LL MISS YOU ALL. SO PLS PLS DROP ME AN SMS TO LET ME KNOW THAT IM STILL POPULAR REGARDLESS OF CONTINENT. OKOKOKKOKOKOKOKOKOKOKOKOKOKOOKOKOKOKOK OKOKOKOK BYEBYEBYEYBYEYBEYBYEYBYEYBYEBYEBYEBEYBYEBYEYBEYBEYE.

I LVE YOU ALLLLLLLLLLLL LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU ALLLL! BYEBYEYBE!

*Seet Ling runs away*


My friend is wonks. BUT ZOMG WE R TRAVELLING TOGETHER SO EXCITING! Ok take care all of you. (:

DRIVE FOR TP SIFE!!!!

Brain Picking... again.

- I'm leaving for Cambodia in a few hours and BOY OH BOY I'M EXCITED! Seven days of a new land, villages with brown water, sleeping in little huts and a whole new culture. HOORAY!

- Outings with the girlfriends were fabulous as usual - Ler had an almost-Siew moment of *not* dropping her friendship band and freaking out for nothing, Siew was just Siew, I was awfully perky - and over nighters of SATC and non-coffees at Starbucks even better. Alot of amazing conversation that's too happening to be recorded here.

- Le Raine and I are single and fabulous, heh!

- I will be saving Siew Ling's ass from spiders in Cambodie, as she so fondly calls it.

- Xiu Ling, Li Xian, Derek. Hello we totally need to organize a sleepover HELLO HELLO WHEN I COME BACK. MUST WAIT FOR ME OK.

- Nigel YOU ARE COMING HOME SOON WOOOHOOOOOOOOO. *flexes fingers and smiles manically.

- Siew, voice no. 42 will try to listen to your voice no. 927.

- LER LER SAUR I'M SO GOING TO MISS YOU. LIKE SO VERY WERY MUCH. Email me hor. HOR! And tell me about the *outing*. Ahem. =D

- Mr I went for 5 minute surgery today WHY DON'T YOU TAG ON MY BOARD HUH. I KNOW YOU ARE READING THIS... Anyway, thanks for coffee and you better not rip that bandage off without me hor!

- History Boys is a fab movie. TMNT was disappointing. I still like the rat though. He's so cool. He's like Yoda, only in rat ninja form. And Michaelangelo. COWABANGA!

OK I HAVE TO GO SLEEP NOW COS ITS SUPER LATE AND MY FLIGHT IS REALLY EARLY TOMORROW, I MEAN LATER. BYE EVERYONE I REALLY HOPE I DON'T STEP ON A LANDMINE. SEE YOU PEOPLE VERY SOON.

Hello you.

You. Who watched me grow up from the moment I was born. Who's been my roomie since before I could remember. The other huge Jason Mraz lover. You - the person I've had the worst fights in the middle of the night with and the most honest conversations with. You, the one who told me that blood is thicker than water and that you were always going to be around.

We are so different, you and I. I am crazily loud (and high pitched), hyperactive and disgustingly emotional. You are quiet. Calm. Cool. With deadpan humour that never fails to give me the giggles. You are the one who is disgustingly smart - with all those A1s and A Level A's and 2nd Class Honours. You've never cared much about the clothes and the makeup (fine, I'm the more hiao one) because you are (and have always been) so comfortable in your own skin. You were always his favourite, you were the apple of his eye.

You got married ten days ago to the most perfect man for you at the Arts House. The music was lovely (thank you for using my GA soundtrack it was PERFECT), the decorations that JiaQi did was gorgeous (what with the flower adorned satin cloths that were draped across the ceiling and walls), the guest book was beautiful, YOU looked amazing walking down the aisle with the coolest march in song Amado Mio, Pastor was the most charming I've seen him, and the wedding cake looked awesome and tasted even better.

It was a beautiful wedding.

But that is all it was - a wedding event. And while I'm happy that it was such a success (after all those months of preparation), I know that it's not the most important thing. What I'm truly thrilled/elated/happy/disgustingly happy/overjoyed/fill in with whatever really happy word you can think of about is the fact that you are going to have a wonderful marriage and a really great life. I say this with such confidence because I have seen him and seen how you to get along and time has proven him worthy.

He complements you so well, and loves you so much its obvious for the world to see. As you walked down the aisle, your joy made me joyful. I felt so happy seeing you happy. You deserve all the love he gives you and you deserve to be the most blissful wife in the world.

You started a new chapter of your life last week and after your honeymoon (which I'm supremely jealous about) you will set out to fill the empty pages. I'm excited to see what your future holds, and I can't wait to be an aunt. Your kids will be beautiful. I'll do my best to be the cool aunt who'd tell them how awesome their mom is all the time and how it's because of their really awesome grandpa.

I'm going to miss you when you move out of the house, more than you know and more than I'll ever admit (again). Your clothes, your yummy aglio olio, you. You can count on me to drop by often in the excuse of having dinner with you. I *might* even take you up on your offer and help you with your housework once in a while.

So here's a big fat thank you for being you and showing all that love to me. Congratulations once again.

And one more thing - I love you, jie.

Super Short Filler

I'm still high from the leftover adrenalin that came from my sister's wedding.

It was beautiful, she was stunning, and all in all, a very surreal experience I loved so much.

Beautiful doesn't quite cut it, to describe everything and how she looked.

Many thanks to the lovely people and friends who helped make it such a great success.

Will post some pictures (we took over 1500 photos. ONE THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED PHOTOS) when I get them. I'll write a good blog entry too.

Till then, goodnight world.

No Rain Today

There is so much I want to say and tell you. That in a few hours, you are going to be the most gorgeous bride the world's ever seen. That as you walk down the aisle with kor I will cry - because I'm so happy for you, and so sad that he isn't here to be the one walking you down instead.

But all the words came out funny and cheesy and stupid.

So all I have to say is I'm so happy that you are getting married and I wish you so much love in your marriage. I hope you were surprised by the Rachael phonecall, cos I thought of it for really long and I knew you wanted to go for the concert.

I love you, and I can't wait to become an aunty. Congratulations, jie.

Connect(ed/ing) People.

- I love bus rides with you, walking into hospitals and getting jabs with you, hyperventilating in the middle of the night about some shit debate, kicking ass at said shit debate.. all with you.

No words, just a few good tunes and the comfortable silence that makes what is unsaid sound so much louder. I'm so happy/falala woffly/truly content with you.

- Spit swapping led to a unique/quirky/wonky bond being slowly formed - even right now as I type this - and you've been a breath of fresh air. If we really become the friends I envision us to be, I'd say the momentary madness was worth it. (:

- I know my new super power - giving tear jerking hugs. I could stand in the middle of PRJ and hug you all day. Give you all my good juju and use the most biao zhun chinese - all to make you happy. Ai Si Ni Le.

Random SiewLing Gem #13489214




Lol.

Speak Cryptic, Part I can't remember what already.

All of Murphey's hate for me was worth it, becos Friday night was a BLAST. There were heart to heart conversations in the middle of a swimming pool at 2 a.m., funny games were played and revealing secrets shared, dares done, spit swapped (something our lovely couple happily and enthusiastically engaged in, in front of all of us) and compromising photos taken (all excellent blackmail material, unfortunately), and a whole lot of squealing and playing at a playground that was way too small for us juvenile delinquents.

The security guards who kept bugging us to keep our voices down and not jump in the pool cos there was thunder were fabulous *ahem* as well. Thunder?! Lol.

There was no more ONE, TWO, THREE. But Ms Koh still didn't manage to achieve what she wanted (heh!) and I was the one who had to help carry her out instead of vice versa. The most surprising person of the night was Derek, who helped fertilize the plants a bit too much.

Favourite phrase of the night?
"This is the SiewLing zone. Don't come into the SiewLing zone."

All in all, an excellent way to spend Friday night. Fantastic company, and fantastic fun. The best part is that we are having Episode II next week.

YAY. =D

Question: Would you rather feel more, or nothing at all?

I'm more emotional than most. (Not in the draw lots of eyeliner paint my fingernails black and listen to crappy emo punk way) I feel more than most, get sad/angry/happy/_insert whatever emotion you want_ rather easily. Recent events have showed that while my friend is so detached, I am so furious. I am like concentrated rage (like when we were in Secondary School and you couldn't use the concentrated acids) packed in a very tight bottle. It doesn't mean that my emotions block my rationality, or that I am this idiot who does everything by whim an emotion.

But feeling (pain/happyness/whatever) means that I'm still alive. Not dead, but very much alive.

----

Now, at this very moment, I think I feel too much. That's because I'm having this massive headache and I was interrupted in my sleep this morning. Some aircon repair man had to come fix my aircon and NOW IT'S SUPER COLD AGAIN AND I'M SO HAPPY. My headache feels like someone is SQUEEZING my brain really tight and it hurts like crap. Feel slightly nauseaus too. :/

I'm off to bed again. I'll end my stab at a semi(intellectual/introspective) post now. Bye.

It turns out I was right about you after all, J. Kang.

You are such an asshole. Since I can't possibly chop of your balls and blend them - but oh my god you have no idea how badly I want to - I hope you get Herpes and Syphilis and a bunch of other STDs. In fact, you should just contract aids. For all your promiscuity, that's going easy on you.

Was she insufficient for you? Do you think you're such a man - to have more than one girl at once? Was it something you did to boost your bruised ego? Because you couldn't stand the fact that she was getting bored of you? That a girl was actually seeing through your facade and realizing that you weren't worth it?

You need a serious wake up call. You are not that smart, funny or talented. People like you think they are above mediocrity, when all they really are is average. You're just average. Just because a bunch of young nubile girls often fall for you doesn't make you all that. Most see through you and your crappy facade and realize that you are full of shit. Listen honey - she's better than any girl you've ever had and probably ever will. She's the girl you said you loved.

But you, you had to be a royal asshole and screw it up. The funny thing about this is... it's not that surprising. We knew you had it in you to be such a person. And here's where the reality check you need comes in - you will never have anyone expect anything of you. You're too much of a lowlife scumbag to ever have anyone expect anything good come from you. Normally, I'd actually feel sorry for someone like you, because its tragic that no one cares that you amount to nothing - that's worse than disappointing someone. But for you? All I feel is disgust. You don't deserve second chances, you don't deserve any sympathy.

Just go to hell.

"I believe in gold pots at the end of rainbows. I believe music has greater power than most people give it credit for. I believe its been one hell of a ride since last year and I believe that in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, that we will be alright. I believe optimism should be held on to, not just for good days. I believe that good looks get you places and I believe that there is happiness in la la lands where calories aren't an issue.

I believe you are capable of greatness and I believe that you must first start small. I believe that there is no gesture or favour of yours that will be too insignificant to move me. I believe you even when I say I don't. I believe that I can lie next to you perfectly silent, and be perfectly okay because silence can be comfortable if you make it. I believe that sometimes, love isn't enough but sometimes, love sustains.

I believe you've made stupid mistakes before and so have I. And I believe that you'll take it well when I point out a mistake because you love me enough to point out mine. I believe that God believes in who you could be even if you don't. And I believe that we are all going to be okay no matter how many times we fall down. I do not believe that all wounds heal but I believe that bruises and scabs help make the pain easier to deal with. And I believe that we will always have at least one person waiting around to catch us when we fall.For I believe no one is ever truly alone. I believe that we will all survive.

I believe that because we believe we will survive, we will survive.

Love,
Woffles"

And for all the belief you have, I believe you are my person. (: Not to mention, an excellent writer. <3

I've been jaded and cynical, weary and tired, and a total grumpus of late. Been telling the close friends how much I hate February and how I doubt I will like March either.

Today however, I felt hope. Over the smallest, most minor thing that a really sweet duck did for me, my weary and jaded heart felt hope.

A few days ago, the good friends and I sat down at Starbucks (after watching Notes on a Scandal and just to digress - JUDI DENCH IS SUCH AN AWESOME ACTRESS. I WILL NEVER LOOK AT 'NICE' OLD LADIES THE SAME WAY) and the question on what type of person we are surfaced. A realist, a pessimist, or an optimist?

I'm a forced optimist. I make myself believe that clouds do have silver linings, my God loves me in this messed up world, and things will eventually work out for good in my life. I'm not deluded or in denial, but rather, I make a conscious decision to look for the positive.

It's so much easier to be pessimistic, or say you are a realist. The fact is, few situations are always positive. That's the thing about life, nothing is really happy or good in itself. And to focus on all the (overwhelming amount of) negativity in life is really easy. Getting jaded is not difficult especially when you live on Planet Earth.

But looking for the positive... requires effort and time. The act of looking in itself means that the positive is sometimes elusive. You need to open your eyes wider, search a bit harder, look in corners you've never considered before, and make yourself find something positive out of what seems like a dreary and hopeless situation. You need to find the little pieces of gold that are well camouflaged by the sand. The little nuggets of gold called Hope.

It's not easy.

I've been pretty worn out of late (Like I said, I don't like February.) and I've come dangerously close to reverting to Scary & Damaged. But today, I felt hope. Despite it being for something small and insignificant, it was like a burst of sunshine in my otherwise extremely grey week. And it was in that moment that I had an epiphany. It is so much better to have hope. Even if it might lead to disappointment, or greater pain, it is so worth it. Hope -the anticipation for something better, something more - means that I have more reason to wake up in the morning. The cynical call it delusion, but I believe it's worth it.


I'm going to start looking.



Thank you, duckie, for giving me hope. It's nice to have it fall in your lap out of the blue once in a while.