Stuff I've learnt over the past few weeks -

Happiness is a choice.

So is love.

It's only when I'm at the end of myself that I make myself stop. I stop running on my own fuel and start beathing God's oxygen.

It feels good to be dependant on someone who holds the universe in His hands.

Attitude determines character, and character is everything.

Emerge is not just an event, it's The Event I'm looking forward to. It makes the sleepless nights of doing assignments (so I don't have to rush during the conference) worth it. I believe it will be life changing - and it will be. Because I'm planning to go with the right attitude.

The relationships that are worth keeping in life require thought and evaluation. It's not a given, it's not about being in comfort zone. I believe there is always a point where you have to stop. Think. Count the costs of the friendship. And at the end of the evaluation, you come to the realization that it is worth it after all. Despite the friction and different value systems, you conclude that there is potential in the person, and the relationship.

Panic is sometimes the best motivator. But I'm not subscribing to its theory this semester.

TobyMac's new album is really, really good. In the sit on the bus and feel 'Jesus is closer than my very breath' way. So are all the new church songs.

I still believe in soulmates (ya lah ya lah, I know this is damn late considering both of the girls wrote about this damn long ago). It's when my heart touches yours while our fingers are intertwined. It's my knowledge - my absolutely certainty and faith - that your hand will be in mine, period. And that I can never be truly alone.

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Ok, I'm done. This is me being disgustingly open despite my lack of prose. I'll try to write more from now on. See you all.

Calling All Nerds....

Say you love me. And Sany, cos Sany is the one who sent me the link, and then called me Siew Ling.

I LOVE YOU STILL, SANY. (:

A Million To One

(The girlfriends have both commented on this, so what the heck. I guess its my turn to talk. Consider this my effort at resuscitating this dying blog)

There could be a million reasons why you shouldn't go for something, take the risk and jump off the cliff. All the rationality in your head screams 'DANGER DANGER. MUST ANALYZE FIRST.' and you start to scrutinize and over think. Your brain makes a pro-con list, and as you start to jot down all your points (doesn't this feel like a debate prep), you soon begin to realize that one side looks significantly longer than the other.

People don't approve, it's wrong, this is only short term/temporary, why waste your time/effort/energy, blah blah blah blah.

To the heart, it is simple. There is no pro-con list, no endless running around the merry go round... the heart only has one reason. That for the first time in a long while, the heart is happy, relaxed, at peace, and it feels safe. A big accomplishment, for a small heart that takes a long time to open and slowly start to thaw.

The head doesn't understand all this, though. For all these are abstract concepts that are unquantifiable (BMR alert, BMR alert) and a proper hypothesis/research question cannot be made. How can constructs be formed, when the conceptual and operational definitions are so vague? So both go round and round in this endless rigmarole (look siew I borrowed your word), both trying to make their case and state their stance.

This time, the head needs the heart to tell it to shut up and stop. Because for all the rationality and common sense that screams out and the long con list that threatens to spill onto the next page, there is one reason that overrides them. The simple fact that the heart is happy.



I won't tell you why or how or when. No sordid details will be given for all your prying eyes. But I can tell you this - he makes me happy.

And this one reason is enough.